Rebirth

I always anticipate the arrival of Spring. After being forced to stay indoors during our rainy winters here on the North Coast, I am anxious to venture outdoors and enjoy the fresh air and sunshine. With the coming of Spring comes the promise of a fresh start. I am inspired by the signs of new life evident in Nature, and feel hopeful along with a desire for rebirth and renewal.

Looking back over my life I am reminded of many times that I experienced a personal rebirth. We can all agree that there were monumental events in our lives that led us down the path of change. I have discovered, however, that change is not always easy nor does it always come without pain.



My father was a Southern Baptist Minister and I was taught the tenets of the Christian faith at a very early age. I still remember the day that I accepted Christ as my savior. I was seven years old and my parents had been reading verses from the Bible to me and showed me where the Bible teaches about God's love and how, as Christians believe, that we need to confess our sins and repent to be saved. I remember praying the sinner's prayer at the foot of my parent's bed with tears in my eyes. I also remember repeating the prayer later on that night as I lay in bed. I wanted to make sure that it stuck. While I can look back now and see that some of my decision was prompted by fear of going to Hell, I also must confess that along with it was a genuine need to be known and loved by the Creator. It wasn't until some time later that I summoned up the courage to be baptized, and my father assured me that nobody had ever drowned during a baptism.




I had spent the first thirteen years of my life growing up in Northern California, and was excited about the prospect of change when my father was offered a position pastoring a church in White Plains, Ky in 1979. I soon regretted the move and missed the friends I had left behind in California. It took a couple of years, but eventually I made new friends and came to enjoy my new life in Kentucky. By my senior year in high school, I had several close friends and had made many happy memories that I will cherish for the rest of my life.



I moved back to California in 1986 and married Patti, my childhood sweetheart and first love. No longer was I under the care of my parents, but experienced the freedom and pride that comes from beginning my own life, my beautiful wife by my side. Those were simple and happy years. We didn't have much, but we were happy. We shared hopes and dreams together that were not tainted by the harsh realities that life would eventually bring.




Change would soon come knocking on my door when we had our first son, Ryan, who was born in 1989. When he was only two months old, we made the hasty decision to move back to Kentucky with my parents who had come out to California for a visit to see their first grandson. Eastern Kentucky was very different from Western Kentucky, and worlds apart from the life that we had in California. I experienced what I can only describe as culture shock. Despite a desperate try on my part, I found it very difficult to make friends for the first several years. I was depressed and very lonely and deeply regretted ever leaving California. Our two younger sons, Matthew and Alex, were born while we were living in Pike County. These years were spent bonding with the boys and spending time with my family. Eventually I began to make friends, and am happy to say that to this day I still keep in touch with many of the friends that I made in Eastern Kentucky. In 2004, the call center where I was employed closed the doors and we took the opportunity to move back to California, somethting we had dreamed of doing for years. Once again, I found myself saying goodbye to friends, and most difficult of all, to my parents and brother and sister.




The move back to California was good for our family. I felt such a relief to be back and I completely enjoyed myself exploring the redwood forests and beaches. I entered yet another stage of my life as I reached 40 and middle age. By this time I had severed my ties with organized religion and began to follow my own Nature based path. In doing so, I felt a spiritual freedom that I had never experienced while I was attending church.

One of the most painful events in my life took place when I found out that my mother had cancer back in 2009. I was fortunate enough to be able to be with her during the last week of her life and sat by her side, holding her hand when she took her last breath. The bonds of our family were strengthened through this event and it was good to get to see my brother and sister and their families again, despite the circumstances.

Life continues to bring changes as my two oldest boys are grown and recently moved out on their own. Things are nice and quiet at home with just myself, Patti and Alex. We live a simple, peaceful life and have recently committed to eating organic food as much as possible, for the sake of our health and also for the simple fact that it just tastes better. We also are very diligent about recycling and making less of an impact on the natural world and its resources.

It would be sad indeed if I had stayed in any of the previous stages in my life. I'm glad that the little seven year old boy eventually grew up and became more confident and secure. It was only natural that the teenager would move on and begin a life with his young bride. Although I will always treasure the first years of our marriage, I am happy that we had children and that I experienced the joys and rewards of parenthood. Where would I be today if I had not learned important lessons from all of the foolish mistakes and wrong decisions that I made as a young adult?

I learned something valuable from each of these stages in my life. I am the man I am today as a result of the experiences, the friendships, the joys and trials that I have lived through. Each experience has brought me closer to being a better, more compassionate and understanding person. Change is not always easy. In fact, more often than not it is quite painful. But it makes us stronger, teaches us patience, and prevents life from becoming dull and monotonous.

Tsunami

Last Friday started out like any other day. I was ready for the weekend and had taken my shower and was eating breakfast while checking my email. It was shortly after 7am when the phone rang. I wondered who would be calling so early and assumed that it was one of the boys. I was surprised to hear the concerned voice of a co-worker. It was Carrie and she asked me "Should I come in to work this morning or not?" She proceeded to tell me about the earthquake in Japan the previous night and that we were under a tsunami warning. The first wave was supposed to hit in thirty minutes!

Patti overheard the conversation and grabbed the phone to call and warn the boys. The apartment where they live in Sunny Brae is in the Tsunami Danger Zone. The route I take to work south on Highway 101 leads right beside Humboldt Bay as you cross through the corridor into Eureka. If a tsunami hit, that entire area would be flooded.

I normally leave for work around 7:30 but was hesitant to do so. I decided to wait a few minutes past 7:30 to see what happened, realizing that I would be late for work.

I checked our stock of canned goods in the pantry and filled up some jars and jugs with water. I wanted to be on the safe side, just in case something happened and the water supply was undrinkable. I left Patti a list of things not to forget, just in case she had to evacuate and head for the hills.

We turned on the radio and heard the news that we should expect a tsunami wave of up to 8 feet and that the warning was in effect for the next twelve hours. People were warned to stay away from the beaches and to be prepared to move to higher ground. The radio listed school closings and spoke of evacuations taking place in Arcata, and also in Eureka, south of 4th street. The office building where I work is on 6th street.

Needless to say, my heart was racing and I was a bit apprehensive as I drove to work. I didn't want to leave the family, not wanting to be separated if disaster struck. As I neared Humboldt Bay, I noticed that the water in the bay was very low. There were hardly any cars on the highway and there was an eerie silence. As I entered Eureka, the city was deserted. Not a single car was in the parking lot at Target. McDonalds and Burger King were closed, as were all of the other businesses as I entered town. I punched the time clock and went to work at my desk, the window facing in the direction of Humboldt Bay.

We were all nervous and talkative, keeping our eyes glued to the internet as the morning seemed to drag on forever. Reports began to flood in as the tsunami waves came. The waves traveled up the mouth of the Mad River, one of my favorite places to hang out. In the summer, I often go there to explore the sea shore and dunes, and to watch the seals sunbathe on the banks of the river as it bends and meets the ocean.


In this photo you can see the tsunami wave traveling up the Mad River. Our house sits approximately in the area of the red circle on the far right.


Soon, we heard the news that the tsunami struck Crescent City. The docks were completely devastated and over 30 boats were destroyed. We also heard the terrible news that a man had been swept out to sea while taking pictures near the mouth of the Klamath River.



We all breathed a sigh of relief as the tsunami warning was lowered to an alert later in the afternoon. We were very fortunate this time. Crescent City and the town of Brookings, Oregon took the brunt of the tsunami. We were spared... this time!

My heart goes out to the Japanese people who have just faced the worst natural disaster in their history. I can't imagine the horror that they endured as first the earthquake struck, and then the tsunami. Thousands of lives have been lost, and even more lives have been changed forever as Japan deals with the aftermath of this devastation.

I consider living near the Pacific Ocean a privilege. The North Coast of California, in my own opinion, is one of the most beautiful places on the planet. Sacrifices have to be made to live here, as we are one of the most expensive communities in the state. There is also the risk of earthquakes and tsunamis. Scientists predict that we could experience a disaster similar to Japan's. We live with that reality every day.

I love the ocean and enjoy walking along the sea shore, exploring the tide pools, and running from the waves as they crash onto shore. But I have learned to respect the sea, and to not turn my back on it. It is beautiful, yet dangerous. And that is the way that Nature intends for it to be.

A Thankful Heart

We as human beings spend so much time whining and complaining. We are never happy with what we have and grumble and gripe far too much for our own good. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, a day set aside for us to be thankful for the things that make this life worthwhile. Today I was struck with an idea, a wonderful, yet impossible idea! Just imagine.... What if, instead of one day of Thanksgiving a year, we had one day of Grumbling in its place? We could spend all day voicing our woes and displeasures with life and walk around moping and miserable. We could get it out of our system, and then for the entire rest of the year, we would be thankful and appreciative for the good things in life. Sound like a good idea?



So I decided to come up with a list of ten things that I am thankful for and make that the theme of my blog post.

1. I am thankful for my family. So many families are torn apart by strife and unforgiveness. My family has always been close and supportive of each other. My parents gave so much to us and taught us the true meaning of love. For the first time in several years, my immediate family will be together to enjoy Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. I do miss my family in Kentucky and wish we could all be togher for the holiday. I love all of you dearly.

2. I am thankful for my friends. I have the best friends in the world! I have friends scattered all over the country as well as friends as far away as Hawaii and London. So many of you have stood by me and offered me hope during difficult times. You have loved me and accepted me for who I am. I can't imagine my life without my friends. I love you guys so much! You have no idea how much you mean to me.



3. I am thankful for having a full belly. I never lack for food, in fact I would be much better off if I didn't indulge myself quite so frequently. Patti has been busy preparing an enormous feast for tomorrow, and I am going to enjoy myself thoroughly and eat to my heart's content!

4. I am thankful for our home. While we are living in a rental and not able to afford a home of our own at this time in our lives, I am thankful that I have a roof over my head, live in a safe neighborhood and have a decent sized yard with a nice tall fence to keep it private.

5. I am thankful for being able to live on the North Coast of California. I was born here and I feel that this is truly my home. I have traveled all across the country, but have never seen anything that matches the natural beauty of the Redwood forests or the rocky and rugged coastline that runs along Humboldt and Del Norte Counties.



6. I am thankful that I live in a country where I have the freedom to follow my own spiritual path without fear. As an American, I am protected by the Constitution and am given the right to seek the Divine in a way that is personal and meaningful for me. I don't have to worry about being burned at the stake (at least in most parts of the counry).

7. I am thankful for the animal companions in my life. There have been many, and they each have held a special place in my heart. I enjoy taking walks with Greta my ball python, giving treats to Fievel and Squeaky my rats, watching Mojo the bearded dragon sun himself on a rock in the back yard, talking to my beta fish Hades, and playing with our cats, Tika and Simba. A life without animals would be very sad indeed.

8. I am thankful for the gift of music. While I don't usually listen to "mainstream" music, I have discovered and come to enjoy music that speaks to me personally. My musical tastes run from artists who are positive and uplifting to those at the opposite end who have learned to embrace their dark side. Depending upon what is happening in my life, I gravitate towards music that reflects the situation that I am experiencing and living in at the time.

9. I am thankful for the gift of reading. I have enjoyed reading for as long as I can remember. I am the avid reader that I am today, thanks mainly to comic books. I continue to read comics to this day, as well as fantasy novels and books on various spiritual paths. I usually have at least two or three books that I am reading at any given time.

10. I am thankful for my health. A couple of months ago I faced my own mortality as I suffered from chest pains and was convinced that I was having a heart attack. Thankfully it wasn't my heart, but a hiatel hernia along with stress and anxiety that was causing the problems. I am able to get outdoors and enjoy hiking and bike riding, as well as working out at the gym.

These were just ten of the things that came to mind when I began to think about the things that I am thankful for. I am sure that I could continue and come up with hundreds more.

I challenge each of you to take just a few moments and list ten things that you are thankful for. When we really stop and think abot it, we are each blessed in so many ways.

Happy Thanksgiving!

High 5

It's been awhile since I posted my last blog. There has been a lot happening in my life lately and I guess I just didn't make it a priority.

Through the years I have made many friends. I am still friends with people who I met as a child and a teenager and do my best to keep in touch. As an adult I continued to build friendships, usually with co-workers. I have so many wonderful friends who I love and appreciate. I feel that each of them has contributed something, in their own special way, to mold and shape me into the man that I am today.



I wanted to write a blog on my most recent friendship and how it has affected my life. I first met Dominic Efferson at the Times-Standard when he was hired back in February of this year. Within a few weeks we had developed a friendship and I was quickly drawn to his great sense of humor and unique personality. We went out to lunch a few times and I discoverd that Dom posessed many of the qualities that I find admirable in a person. He was always encouraging, non-judgemental, humble and kind. Dom was friendly to everybody he came into contact with and never knew a stranger. It seemed like anytime we were out anywhere he would run into somebody he knew.

Dom kept asking me to go to the gym with him on lunch, just to give it a try. I had never done anything like this before and finally agreed. I found that I enjoyed working out with my buddy and decided to join the gym at Power-N-Fitness. It became a regular part of the day, something that I came to look forward to. Dom was always giving me a high 5 and a "Great Job!". He made it fun and cheered me on, pushing me out of my comfort zone, but in a way that made me feel good about myself.



We began to develope a close bond, and Dom was always giving of himself. He would often bring me a banana, a power bar or a protein drink. He was always sharing with me and was one of the most giving people I had ever met. It became quite obvious to me that Dom didn't care about things, he cared about people.

When I first met Dom, he already had an established group of close friends. But still he made room for me in his life. This friendship was different than so many others I have had in the past because it wasn't always me doing the inviting. There were many times that Dom made the initiative and invited me to do something with him. Dom always returned my phone calls, answered my emails, subscribed to my blog and actually read it! He was everything that I had ever looked for in a friend and I was truly happy being his buddy.



Dominic was such a big kid. He reminded me of Tom Hanks in "Big", a little boy trapped in a man's body. I have never met another person who was so in love with life, who was so excited about his next adventure as Dom. I will never forget the day we took a road trip up to Klamath and Brookings. Dom took his skateboard and we stopped at a couple of skate parks. Dom just got right in with the kids and started skating, daring them to do tricks and cheering them on. I couldn't help but laugh, he was having so much fun.

Dom announced in the beginning of August that he was going to be moving to Hawaii to live with his brother. I was happy for him, but to be honest, the news hit me pretty hard. This friendship was something that I valued highly and I did not want to think about what life would be like after Dom left.



The weekend came before Dom left Humboldt County and I was able to spend time with him before he left. He made sure that I was invited to every party, every dinner and event that led up to his departure. Dom made me feel special right up to the end.

Saying farewell to Dominic was the most difficult "Goodbye" I have ever had to endure. I miss my buddy terribly. It has been nearly two weeks and there is still an emptiness in my heart. Dom was such a special friend to me. When you develope a friendship like this, it changes you. I will never be the same person I was before I met Dominic Efferson.

I wish you the best Dom. Enjoy your time with your family and friends and have a safe trip to Hawaii. I hope to see you again someday soon. Until then - High 5 buddy!

Wonder Woman

As a young boy growing up back in the 70s, I fondly remember looking forward with great anticipation to Friday nights and my then favorite show on TV, Wonder Woman, starring Lynda Carter. I had a crush on Lynda Carter back then, and to me Wonder Woman was the perfect woman. She was beautiful and kind, yet strong and courageous as well.



When we were kids, my friend Wayne and I created our own heroes and drew our own comics. We were the Jr. Justice League, the sons and daughters of the famous members of the Justice League of America. Wayne was Batboy and I was Wonderboy. While Wonder Woman was a well known face in DC Comics, Marvel comics had their own hero who was a member of the Avengers, Wonder Man. Of course Patti wanted to be Wonder Girl and would make silver bracelets out of tin foil. I remember once debating with Patti over who was stronger, Wonder Woman or Wonder Man.



I enjoyed reading comic books as a kid and was always excited to find a back issue of Wonder Woman at flea markets and old comic shops. I continued following the tales of her exploits on into adulthood and enjoyed the re-creation of the heroine in the late 80s.

What is it about Wonder Woman that has made her so popular since her first appearance in All-Star Comics #8 in 1941? Let's take a brief look at her history. Wonder Woman was born Princess Diana of Themyscira (Paradise Island). Her mother was Queen Hippolyta of the Amazons. Diana didn't have a father, but was fashioned from clay by her mother and given life by the Greek gods. As a young woman she came to Patriarch's World as a hero and champion to spread the message of love and peace.

Wonder Woman's accessories are legendary: The golden lasso which forces all held within its loops to tell the truth, the silver bracelets which can deflect bullets, and the tiara which can be removed and thrown like a boomerang.

Recently DC Comics has revamped the Wonder Woman series with the landmark issue #600. Wonder Woman has been given a new costume and apparently a new history as well. I personally prefer the original costume, but understand that sometimes changes have to be made in order to keep the stories fresh and interesting. I'm looking forward to reading the stories and watching the new plot twist unfold.




Wonder Woman has much to teach us. She came from a world that knew peace, where each individual was valued. Women were not inferior, in fact there were no men on Paradise Island. Another interesting fact that I should point out is that when Wonder Woman came to America, she encountered a culture that was completely alien to her. Even in the realm of faith and religion, Wonder Woman did not fit into the Judeo-Christian worldview. Princess Diana and the Amazons of Themyscira were Pagans, worshipping the ancient Greek Gods and Goddesses.

Wonder Woman is a good role model for women, but for men as well. She fights for what she believes in, is loyal to her friends, and takes her faith seriously. She shows compassion to her enemies, upholds the truth, and defends the weak and helpless.


When was the last time you read a comic book? I encourage you to pick up the latest issue of Wonder Woman and give our heroine a read. You might just enjoy yourself!

The Gay Debate

"Do unto others as you would have them do to you." Jesus speaks in Luke 6:31. In Matthew 7:12 he says that this sums up the Law and the Prophets. So the way that I understand it, we should always treat others the way that we would want to be treated in a similar situation. What if this is all there was to it? No "Thou Shalt Nots" to keep people in line. Simply love others and treat them with the same courtesy and respect that you would want for yourself. Wouldn't the world be a wonderful place if everybody followed this simple philosophy?

Sadly, we are seeing much anger and hostility from the pulpits when it comes to the acceptance of Gays and Lesbians. Several extreme groups from the Religious Right are doing everything they can to ensure that these people do not have the right to marry the person they love. "Love the Sinner but hate the Sin." as the old cliche goes. But when it comes to Gays and Lesbians, that's not possible. This is who they are.

I was taught from a very early age that there was something wrong with those who followed an alternative lifestyle. They were perverted and sinful people, bound for Hell. The names Gay, Queer and Fag were tossed around the school playground at anybody who didn't fit the "Norm". Me, being a geeky skinny little guy with glasses who was more into comic books than sports usually got the brunt of the teasing in gradeschool.



Up until my thirties, I lived with the beliefs that I was raised with. I really didn't question what I was taught when it camed to Gays and Lesbians. I didn't know anybody who was Gay (at least so far as I knew) and their issues were no concern of mine.

It wasn't until I began working for Sykes in Pikeville, Ky that I left my little bubble of only surrounding myself with Christian people who held similar beliefs to my own. At Sykes, I was forced into a situation where I worked right alongside people from many different walks of life. Up to this point I had never really known any Gays, Lesbians, Pagans or Agnostics. I soon found myself making close friendships with people who weren't like me. And this is one of the best things that could ever have happened to me. I began to put myself in the shoes of other people and to understand what made them who they were. When it came right down to it, they really weren't all that different from me. They just wanted to be treated with the same courtesy and respect as everyone else.



I no longer agree with or even understand the arguments that the Far Right has against Same Sex Marriage. They claim that this will undermine traditional marriage and will cause the family to fall apart. First of all, with over 50% of marriages ending in divorce, it's kind of unfair to place the blame on an entire group of people who aren't even a part of that problem. There is also a danger with holding so rigidly to tradition. What if this same concept had been used in arguments against equal rights for women and minorities? We don't want to give equal rights to "Those" people, we've always done it this way! Tradition is good, but when others are not treated with dignity and respect, it's about time to change those traditions.

For those of you who are against Same Sex Marriage, I want for you to stop and think for just a minute. Is there somebody that you love, somebody you can't imagine living your life without? Now go a step further and imagine yourself being told that you can't marry this person. There are groups of angry people who will do everything in their power to prevent your marriage to the one you love. How would that make you feel?

Oh, but Homosexuality is a sin! It says so in the Bible. But wait just a minute... have you read ALL of your Bible? Leviticus 21:5 says that Priests must not shave their heads or shave off the edges of their beards. How many clean shaven red faced ministers have I seen on TV spouting about the sinful Gay lifestyle? How about this one... Leviticus 19:19 "Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material." Hmmm, might have some problems there. And Leviticus 19:26 states "Do not eat any meat with the blood still in it." So no more of those rare steaks!

You see what I'm trying to say? There are hundreds and hundreds of laws in the Old Testament. But do modern Christians actually follow all of them? No, it's impossible. To them, the above rules no longer apply. So why do they still continue to have a hangup over Gays and Lesbians?


I can understand that some people may not agree with this lifestyle, especially those who were raised with a strict understanding of the Bible. What I can't understand is that people would get so angry about somebody else's life and do everything in their power to not let the other person have an equal opportunity at love and happiness. To me, this goes against everything that Jesus stood for.

So what I would like to say to those extreme Right Wing Gay bashers: Leave these poor people the Hell alone! Clean up the mess in your own yard before you go poking your nose into somebody else's business. Put yourself in the shoes of another person before you pick up that stone.



Sadly, some people will never change. They will continue to hate, as that is what they were taught and they know no other way.

I am glad that I moved out of my comfort zone years ago. I now count many Gays and Lesbians among my friends. I want you to know that I admire your courage in standing strong against a backlash of hate from the very people who say they follow the Prince of Peace. I believe that you have just as much right as I do to be married to the one you love. I am thankful that Patti and I never had to face what you are going through, and I look towards a brighter future when people will finally accept others for who they are, not who they choose to love.

Litha

Last night was Midsummer's Eve, the shortest night of the year. In ages past this night was said to be filled with magic and faerie mischief. Today was officially the first day of summer. We are seeing warmer weather here on the North Coast. Yesterday also happened to be Father's Day and I spent the afternoon down at Avenue of the Giants in the redwoods and by the Eel River with the family.

We have reached the waning half of the year. From this point forward, the days will gradually grow shorter until we reach the Winter Solstice which is in December, just a few days before Christmas.



Many myths and legends center on this special day. It is on this day that legends tell of the annual battle of the Oak King and Holly King. The Oak King who was born at the Winter Solstice is defeated in battle by the Holly King who reigns from this day forward until he is in turn defeated at the Winter Solstice. For those of you who don't know, the symbolism of the Holly King has been carried over into our modern interpretation of Santa Claus.




Another popular image is the Green Man, the Spirit of Nature. His face can be seen in many cathedrals all over Europe, a hidden reminder of its Pagan past. The Green Man is said to be the guardian of the natural world, his face hidden among the leaves.



The hollow hills are said to open wide on this night and the Wee Folk are known to wander the earth. There are several warnings for those who encounter the Fey. Don't eat or drink anything that they offer you as earthly food will lose all flavor afterwards and you will forever long for another taste of the Faerie food and drink. If you see the Wee Folk dancing about in a circle, do not join them. Many legends tell of those who have and when the dancing has ended, the unfortunate souls discover that a hundred years have passed and all of their loved ones are long gone.



It is said that herbs gathered on the Summer Solstice are the most potent. When possible, I like to take a walk alone in Nature and gather herbs from the wild on the Solstice. I had to work today and was unable to do so this year. A popular herb that blooms and flowers at the Summer Solstice is St. Johns Wort. With its bright yellow flowers, this plant is a reminder of the renewing energy of the sun.

I am usually filled with energy at this time of year as I am able to spend more time outdoors. I look forward to days spent at the beach and in the forests, and try to plan at least a couple of camping trips during the summer months.

I have much to look forward to this summer. Ryan, our oldest son, is returning home from the army. In just a few weeks we will be taking a much needed family vacation. I have a camping trip with friends planned later in the summer. My sister is planning a trip out to California so I am looking forward to spending some time with her.

I have recently joined a gym with a friend and am working on getting myself into shape, including something I have never done in my adult life... running! The warm weather and fresh air is intoxicating after being locked indoors during the cold winter and the rainy months of spring.

But nothing stays the same as I was reminded yesterday when I was in a store and noticed that they were already setting out their fall decorations. The clerk was carrying a large plastic pumpkin and I smiled as I looked forward with anticipation to my own favorite time of year... Autumn.