I have been considering starting a blog for some time now. I have a blog on Myspace and a couple of other sites, but wanted to reach out to a larger community. So here I am with my first blog and a topic that has been on my mind for a couple of weeks.
The Holiday Season is upon us! I swear this year they were playing Christmas music in the stores just a few days after Halloween. I have to confess that this time of year has been very depressing for me for several years. I try not to be a Scrooge, but sometimes the happy music, the pushy shoppers, and the crowded stores are just a little too much for me.
It never fails, this time of year always seems to hit me hard financially. I have a wife and three boys, one of them grown and away in the US Army. Every year I try to start saving money early so that they can have a decent Christmas. But unexpected expenses always seem to pop up and knock me down a peg.
This year my mother was diagnosed with cancer on our wedding anniversary. I flew out to Kentucky to be with her and held her hand when she died, and my wife and kids flew out in time for the funeral. Friends and family were very generous and helped us out with the airfare, but we still ended up in quite a bit of debt over the trip. Then when I returned home my van had some problems from sitting idle for two weeks and I had to put $600 into getting it fixed. "That's life!" as Mom would always say.
I was raised to believe not to put too much stock in the commerciality of Christmas, that it wasn't about presents and Santas Claus and building snowmen. I do try to honor the spiritual side of the season and find strength and hope in the traditions and ancient stories of Peace on Earth Good Will to Men. But sometimes the more cynical side of me says "Peace on Earth? Yeah right!" Wars, suicide bombers, road rage, cruelty to animals... and the list goes on. People can't even get along with their own families, much less the rest of the world.
Television and advertising bombard us with images of beautiful and happy rich people adorned with every expensive gift that they could possibly imagine. With their perfect bodies and worry free lives, they live in mansions with elaborate holiday decorations, cozy fireplaces, and tables adorned with the most elegant and mouth watering dishes that money can buy. And then there is the reality... the mother with her little girl shivering in the cold on the street corner holding a sign begging for help, the family who has lost a loved one who can never imagine ever being happy for the holidays again, the mistreated little dog shivering in the rain. Do the rich, happy people on TV see what I see, or are they blind to the truth, too drunk with their fine wines and laughter to notice those less fortunate?
I often wonder why I even participate in the madness that is Christmas. Every year I spend more money than I have for a few moments of pleasure for the kids as they open their gifts. I worry and stress over how we are going to make ends meet until income tax return when we will be able to pay our credit cards down some.
There is one word that keeps me going through this time of year. It is Hope. Hope that next year will be a better year and I will be successful and more financially stable. Hope that the lady on the street corner will find a job and no longer be living in poverty. Hope that the family who lost their loved one will one day be able to laugh again, and the little dog will find a home where he is loved and well cared for. Hope that I can be a better person, giving more of myself instead of only expecting to receive from others.
When I see the TV people, I feel cheated, envious and poor. But when I see reality, I realize in my heart that I am blessed beyond measure. I have my health, a loving wife, and three fine young men for sons. I have a roof over my head and food in the refrigerator. I have a vehicle that works (for now) and a bus that stops just a couple of blocks down the road in case my van breaks down. I live in one of the most beautiful places on earth, right near the heart of the Redwood Forest and just a short distance from the mighty Pacific Ocean.
Is there really Peace on Earth? No, but I can choose peace for myself and an attitude of thankfulness.
So let the holidays come, let the bills pile up and let the cold winter winds blow. Me? I'm ready for Spring!
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