A Thankful Heart

We as human beings spend so much time whining and complaining. We are never happy with what we have and grumble and gripe far too much for our own good. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, a day set aside for us to be thankful for the things that make this life worthwhile. Today I was struck with an idea, a wonderful, yet impossible idea! Just imagine.... What if, instead of one day of Thanksgiving a year, we had one day of Grumbling in its place? We could spend all day voicing our woes and displeasures with life and walk around moping and miserable. We could get it out of our system, and then for the entire rest of the year, we would be thankful and appreciative for the good things in life. Sound like a good idea?



So I decided to come up with a list of ten things that I am thankful for and make that the theme of my blog post.

1. I am thankful for my family. So many families are torn apart by strife and unforgiveness. My family has always been close and supportive of each other. My parents gave so much to us and taught us the true meaning of love. For the first time in several years, my immediate family will be together to enjoy Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. I do miss my family in Kentucky and wish we could all be togher for the holiday. I love all of you dearly.

2. I am thankful for my friends. I have the best friends in the world! I have friends scattered all over the country as well as friends as far away as Hawaii and London. So many of you have stood by me and offered me hope during difficult times. You have loved me and accepted me for who I am. I can't imagine my life without my friends. I love you guys so much! You have no idea how much you mean to me.



3. I am thankful for having a full belly. I never lack for food, in fact I would be much better off if I didn't indulge myself quite so frequently. Patti has been busy preparing an enormous feast for tomorrow, and I am going to enjoy myself thoroughly and eat to my heart's content!

4. I am thankful for our home. While we are living in a rental and not able to afford a home of our own at this time in our lives, I am thankful that I have a roof over my head, live in a safe neighborhood and have a decent sized yard with a nice tall fence to keep it private.

5. I am thankful for being able to live on the North Coast of California. I was born here and I feel that this is truly my home. I have traveled all across the country, but have never seen anything that matches the natural beauty of the Redwood forests or the rocky and rugged coastline that runs along Humboldt and Del Norte Counties.



6. I am thankful that I live in a country where I have the freedom to follow my own spiritual path without fear. As an American, I am protected by the Constitution and am given the right to seek the Divine in a way that is personal and meaningful for me. I don't have to worry about being burned at the stake (at least in most parts of the counry).

7. I am thankful for the animal companions in my life. There have been many, and they each have held a special place in my heart. I enjoy taking walks with Greta my ball python, giving treats to Fievel and Squeaky my rats, watching Mojo the bearded dragon sun himself on a rock in the back yard, talking to my beta fish Hades, and playing with our cats, Tika and Simba. A life without animals would be very sad indeed.

8. I am thankful for the gift of music. While I don't usually listen to "mainstream" music, I have discovered and come to enjoy music that speaks to me personally. My musical tastes run from artists who are positive and uplifting to those at the opposite end who have learned to embrace their dark side. Depending upon what is happening in my life, I gravitate towards music that reflects the situation that I am experiencing and living in at the time.

9. I am thankful for the gift of reading. I have enjoyed reading for as long as I can remember. I am the avid reader that I am today, thanks mainly to comic books. I continue to read comics to this day, as well as fantasy novels and books on various spiritual paths. I usually have at least two or three books that I am reading at any given time.

10. I am thankful for my health. A couple of months ago I faced my own mortality as I suffered from chest pains and was convinced that I was having a heart attack. Thankfully it wasn't my heart, but a hiatel hernia along with stress and anxiety that was causing the problems. I am able to get outdoors and enjoy hiking and bike riding, as well as working out at the gym.

These were just ten of the things that came to mind when I began to think about the things that I am thankful for. I am sure that I could continue and come up with hundreds more.

I challenge each of you to take just a few moments and list ten things that you are thankful for. When we really stop and think abot it, we are each blessed in so many ways.

Happy Thanksgiving!

High 5

It's been awhile since I posted my last blog. There has been a lot happening in my life lately and I guess I just didn't make it a priority.

Through the years I have made many friends. I am still friends with people who I met as a child and a teenager and do my best to keep in touch. As an adult I continued to build friendships, usually with co-workers. I have so many wonderful friends who I love and appreciate. I feel that each of them has contributed something, in their own special way, to mold and shape me into the man that I am today.



I wanted to write a blog on my most recent friendship and how it has affected my life. I first met Dominic Efferson at the Times-Standard when he was hired back in February of this year. Within a few weeks we had developed a friendship and I was quickly drawn to his great sense of humor and unique personality. We went out to lunch a few times and I discoverd that Dom posessed many of the qualities that I find admirable in a person. He was always encouraging, non-judgemental, humble and kind. Dom was friendly to everybody he came into contact with and never knew a stranger. It seemed like anytime we were out anywhere he would run into somebody he knew.

Dom kept asking me to go to the gym with him on lunch, just to give it a try. I had never done anything like this before and finally agreed. I found that I enjoyed working out with my buddy and decided to join the gym at Power-N-Fitness. It became a regular part of the day, something that I came to look forward to. Dom was always giving me a high 5 and a "Great Job!". He made it fun and cheered me on, pushing me out of my comfort zone, but in a way that made me feel good about myself.



We began to develope a close bond, and Dom was always giving of himself. He would often bring me a banana, a power bar or a protein drink. He was always sharing with me and was one of the most giving people I had ever met. It became quite obvious to me that Dom didn't care about things, he cared about people.

When I first met Dom, he already had an established group of close friends. But still he made room for me in his life. This friendship was different than so many others I have had in the past because it wasn't always me doing the inviting. There were many times that Dom made the initiative and invited me to do something with him. Dom always returned my phone calls, answered my emails, subscribed to my blog and actually read it! He was everything that I had ever looked for in a friend and I was truly happy being his buddy.



Dominic was such a big kid. He reminded me of Tom Hanks in "Big", a little boy trapped in a man's body. I have never met another person who was so in love with life, who was so excited about his next adventure as Dom. I will never forget the day we took a road trip up to Klamath and Brookings. Dom took his skateboard and we stopped at a couple of skate parks. Dom just got right in with the kids and started skating, daring them to do tricks and cheering them on. I couldn't help but laugh, he was having so much fun.

Dom announced in the beginning of August that he was going to be moving to Hawaii to live with his brother. I was happy for him, but to be honest, the news hit me pretty hard. This friendship was something that I valued highly and I did not want to think about what life would be like after Dom left.



The weekend came before Dom left Humboldt County and I was able to spend time with him before he left. He made sure that I was invited to every party, every dinner and event that led up to his departure. Dom made me feel special right up to the end.

Saying farewell to Dominic was the most difficult "Goodbye" I have ever had to endure. I miss my buddy terribly. It has been nearly two weeks and there is still an emptiness in my heart. Dom was such a special friend to me. When you develope a friendship like this, it changes you. I will never be the same person I was before I met Dominic Efferson.

I wish you the best Dom. Enjoy your time with your family and friends and have a safe trip to Hawaii. I hope to see you again someday soon. Until then - High 5 buddy!

Wonder Woman

As a young boy growing up back in the 70s, I fondly remember looking forward with great anticipation to Friday nights and my then favorite show on TV, Wonder Woman, starring Lynda Carter. I had a crush on Lynda Carter back then, and to me Wonder Woman was the perfect woman. She was beautiful and kind, yet strong and courageous as well.



When we were kids, my friend Wayne and I created our own heroes and drew our own comics. We were the Jr. Justice League, the sons and daughters of the famous members of the Justice League of America. Wayne was Batboy and I was Wonderboy. While Wonder Woman was a well known face in DC Comics, Marvel comics had their own hero who was a member of the Avengers, Wonder Man. Of course Patti wanted to be Wonder Girl and would make silver bracelets out of tin foil. I remember once debating with Patti over who was stronger, Wonder Woman or Wonder Man.



I enjoyed reading comic books as a kid and was always excited to find a back issue of Wonder Woman at flea markets and old comic shops. I continued following the tales of her exploits on into adulthood and enjoyed the re-creation of the heroine in the late 80s.

What is it about Wonder Woman that has made her so popular since her first appearance in All-Star Comics #8 in 1941? Let's take a brief look at her history. Wonder Woman was born Princess Diana of Themyscira (Paradise Island). Her mother was Queen Hippolyta of the Amazons. Diana didn't have a father, but was fashioned from clay by her mother and given life by the Greek gods. As a young woman she came to Patriarch's World as a hero and champion to spread the message of love and peace.

Wonder Woman's accessories are legendary: The golden lasso which forces all held within its loops to tell the truth, the silver bracelets which can deflect bullets, and the tiara which can be removed and thrown like a boomerang.

Recently DC Comics has revamped the Wonder Woman series with the landmark issue #600. Wonder Woman has been given a new costume and apparently a new history as well. I personally prefer the original costume, but understand that sometimes changes have to be made in order to keep the stories fresh and interesting. I'm looking forward to reading the stories and watching the new plot twist unfold.




Wonder Woman has much to teach us. She came from a world that knew peace, where each individual was valued. Women were not inferior, in fact there were no men on Paradise Island. Another interesting fact that I should point out is that when Wonder Woman came to America, she encountered a culture that was completely alien to her. Even in the realm of faith and religion, Wonder Woman did not fit into the Judeo-Christian worldview. Princess Diana and the Amazons of Themyscira were Pagans, worshipping the ancient Greek Gods and Goddesses.

Wonder Woman is a good role model for women, but for men as well. She fights for what she believes in, is loyal to her friends, and takes her faith seriously. She shows compassion to her enemies, upholds the truth, and defends the weak and helpless.


When was the last time you read a comic book? I encourage you to pick up the latest issue of Wonder Woman and give our heroine a read. You might just enjoy yourself!

The Gay Debate

"Do unto others as you would have them do to you." Jesus speaks in Luke 6:31. In Matthew 7:12 he says that this sums up the Law and the Prophets. So the way that I understand it, we should always treat others the way that we would want to be treated in a similar situation. What if this is all there was to it? No "Thou Shalt Nots" to keep people in line. Simply love others and treat them with the same courtesy and respect that you would want for yourself. Wouldn't the world be a wonderful place if everybody followed this simple philosophy?

Sadly, we are seeing much anger and hostility from the pulpits when it comes to the acceptance of Gays and Lesbians. Several extreme groups from the Religious Right are doing everything they can to ensure that these people do not have the right to marry the person they love. "Love the Sinner but hate the Sin." as the old cliche goes. But when it comes to Gays and Lesbians, that's not possible. This is who they are.

I was taught from a very early age that there was something wrong with those who followed an alternative lifestyle. They were perverted and sinful people, bound for Hell. The names Gay, Queer and Fag were tossed around the school playground at anybody who didn't fit the "Norm". Me, being a geeky skinny little guy with glasses who was more into comic books than sports usually got the brunt of the teasing in gradeschool.



Up until my thirties, I lived with the beliefs that I was raised with. I really didn't question what I was taught when it camed to Gays and Lesbians. I didn't know anybody who was Gay (at least so far as I knew) and their issues were no concern of mine.

It wasn't until I began working for Sykes in Pikeville, Ky that I left my little bubble of only surrounding myself with Christian people who held similar beliefs to my own. At Sykes, I was forced into a situation where I worked right alongside people from many different walks of life. Up to this point I had never really known any Gays, Lesbians, Pagans or Agnostics. I soon found myself making close friendships with people who weren't like me. And this is one of the best things that could ever have happened to me. I began to put myself in the shoes of other people and to understand what made them who they were. When it came right down to it, they really weren't all that different from me. They just wanted to be treated with the same courtesy and respect as everyone else.



I no longer agree with or even understand the arguments that the Far Right has against Same Sex Marriage. They claim that this will undermine traditional marriage and will cause the family to fall apart. First of all, with over 50% of marriages ending in divorce, it's kind of unfair to place the blame on an entire group of people who aren't even a part of that problem. There is also a danger with holding so rigidly to tradition. What if this same concept had been used in arguments against equal rights for women and minorities? We don't want to give equal rights to "Those" people, we've always done it this way! Tradition is good, but when others are not treated with dignity and respect, it's about time to change those traditions.

For those of you who are against Same Sex Marriage, I want for you to stop and think for just a minute. Is there somebody that you love, somebody you can't imagine living your life without? Now go a step further and imagine yourself being told that you can't marry this person. There are groups of angry people who will do everything in their power to prevent your marriage to the one you love. How would that make you feel?

Oh, but Homosexuality is a sin! It says so in the Bible. But wait just a minute... have you read ALL of your Bible? Leviticus 21:5 says that Priests must not shave their heads or shave off the edges of their beards. How many clean shaven red faced ministers have I seen on TV spouting about the sinful Gay lifestyle? How about this one... Leviticus 19:19 "Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material." Hmmm, might have some problems there. And Leviticus 19:26 states "Do not eat any meat with the blood still in it." So no more of those rare steaks!

You see what I'm trying to say? There are hundreds and hundreds of laws in the Old Testament. But do modern Christians actually follow all of them? No, it's impossible. To them, the above rules no longer apply. So why do they still continue to have a hangup over Gays and Lesbians?


I can understand that some people may not agree with this lifestyle, especially those who were raised with a strict understanding of the Bible. What I can't understand is that people would get so angry about somebody else's life and do everything in their power to not let the other person have an equal opportunity at love and happiness. To me, this goes against everything that Jesus stood for.

So what I would like to say to those extreme Right Wing Gay bashers: Leave these poor people the Hell alone! Clean up the mess in your own yard before you go poking your nose into somebody else's business. Put yourself in the shoes of another person before you pick up that stone.



Sadly, some people will never change. They will continue to hate, as that is what they were taught and they know no other way.

I am glad that I moved out of my comfort zone years ago. I now count many Gays and Lesbians among my friends. I want you to know that I admire your courage in standing strong against a backlash of hate from the very people who say they follow the Prince of Peace. I believe that you have just as much right as I do to be married to the one you love. I am thankful that Patti and I never had to face what you are going through, and I look towards a brighter future when people will finally accept others for who they are, not who they choose to love.

Litha

Last night was Midsummer's Eve, the shortest night of the year. In ages past this night was said to be filled with magic and faerie mischief. Today was officially the first day of summer. We are seeing warmer weather here on the North Coast. Yesterday also happened to be Father's Day and I spent the afternoon down at Avenue of the Giants in the redwoods and by the Eel River with the family.

We have reached the waning half of the year. From this point forward, the days will gradually grow shorter until we reach the Winter Solstice which is in December, just a few days before Christmas.



Many myths and legends center on this special day. It is on this day that legends tell of the annual battle of the Oak King and Holly King. The Oak King who was born at the Winter Solstice is defeated in battle by the Holly King who reigns from this day forward until he is in turn defeated at the Winter Solstice. For those of you who don't know, the symbolism of the Holly King has been carried over into our modern interpretation of Santa Claus.




Another popular image is the Green Man, the Spirit of Nature. His face can be seen in many cathedrals all over Europe, a hidden reminder of its Pagan past. The Green Man is said to be the guardian of the natural world, his face hidden among the leaves.



The hollow hills are said to open wide on this night and the Wee Folk are known to wander the earth. There are several warnings for those who encounter the Fey. Don't eat or drink anything that they offer you as earthly food will lose all flavor afterwards and you will forever long for another taste of the Faerie food and drink. If you see the Wee Folk dancing about in a circle, do not join them. Many legends tell of those who have and when the dancing has ended, the unfortunate souls discover that a hundred years have passed and all of their loved ones are long gone.



It is said that herbs gathered on the Summer Solstice are the most potent. When possible, I like to take a walk alone in Nature and gather herbs from the wild on the Solstice. I had to work today and was unable to do so this year. A popular herb that blooms and flowers at the Summer Solstice is St. Johns Wort. With its bright yellow flowers, this plant is a reminder of the renewing energy of the sun.

I am usually filled with energy at this time of year as I am able to spend more time outdoors. I look forward to days spent at the beach and in the forests, and try to plan at least a couple of camping trips during the summer months.

I have much to look forward to this summer. Ryan, our oldest son, is returning home from the army. In just a few weeks we will be taking a much needed family vacation. I have a camping trip with friends planned later in the summer. My sister is planning a trip out to California so I am looking forward to spending some time with her.

I have recently joined a gym with a friend and am working on getting myself into shape, including something I have never done in my adult life... running! The warm weather and fresh air is intoxicating after being locked indoors during the cold winter and the rainy months of spring.

But nothing stays the same as I was reminded yesterday when I was in a store and noticed that they were already setting out their fall decorations. The clerk was carrying a large plastic pumpkin and I smiled as I looked forward with anticipation to my own favorite time of year... Autumn.

The Empty Church Pew

This is probably one of the most controversial blogs that I have ever written. I do not mean to offend anybody with what I am about to say. I have many Christian friends who I love dearly. But I feel that I need to explain exactly why I left the church. I am tired of hiding what I believe and trying to please the majority when it comes to matters of faith.



I have seen it happen hundreds of times. People are searching for something in their lives. They go to church. They hear the sermon and are told that they are sinners without Christ and will wind up in Hell if they don't repent and get saved. They walk the aisle and pray the prayer with the preacher. In many cases their lives are changed and they become faithful Christians, stalwart members of the church. In other cases, they attend for awhile and then slowly drift away. We have all heard the story of why people turn to the church, but what about those who leave? This is my story.

I'm not going to go into detail about the events that led up to me questioning my faith as a Christian and eventually leaving the church. Those events were detailed in another blog. After the painful experience that caused me to take an honest look at my life and what I thought to be true, I decided to lay aside all that I had been taught to believe.



I took an honest look at the Bible and much of it truly bothered me. I read stories I had heard before, but for the first time actually thought about what they meant. I encountered verses showing God commanding that babies heads be bashed against rocks, entire cities being destroyed along with every man, woman, child and animal. The Bible is filled with blood and the God of the Bible demands a blood sacrifice for the sins of man. I saw rape, torture and genocide, all commanded by a God who was supposed to be all loving. I saw people that I cared about being called Abominations because of their lifestyle, others cut off from God because of their religious practices. Most of this was in the Old Testament, but the New Testament had its share of problems as well. Those people who refused to believe in Christ were damned to eternal torment in Hell. There was so much fear, guilt and shame, I just couldn't deal with it anymore. So I left the church and all of the dogma behind.

I know that some of my Christian friends probably thought I was "backslidden". After all, I would often accuse those who left the church of the same thing back when I faithfully attended. It was a well known fact that those who quit going to church were "Out of fellowship with the Lord". Or are they?




I didn't leave the church because I fell away from God. I conciously and purposely left the church because I no longer believed in the image of God that was portrayed there. Now don't get me wrong, I have no problem with Jesus or his teachings. Christ's teachings of love and forgiveness still ring very true to me and I live by "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." But I refuse to bow down to a tyrant. And that is how I see the God of the Bible. Think about it for a moment. Imagine the worst attrocity that you can conceive that a human being can do to another. That pales in comparison to what the God of the Bible threatens nonbelievers with. How can you say that God loves people, but then he sends them to Hell if they don't convert to Christianity? Would unconditional love ever hurt another in such a heinous way? Oh, but God doesn't send people to Hell. They choose to go their with their unbelief. Bullshit! Nobody would choose to go to Hell. And yet as Christians we were taught to believe this paradox.

How many people convert to Christianity out of fear for their souls? It appears that the God of the Bible wants us to fear him, to tremble in obedience before his might. He delights in allowing suffering upon humanity to bring himself glory. He is jealous, vengeful, bloodthirsty and hurls curses upon the people who cross him, and not only them, but their families, for generations! Don't believe me? Read the Bible!

I do not believe in this God anymore. Most of my life was spent living in fear and guilt. I was never good enough. I deserved Hell because of my failures. I was saved only by grace, and my best works were dirty rags before an angry God who couldn't even look upon my mistakes.



I encountered a gentler, more loving aspect of the Divine soon after I moved back to California. I was accepted and loved exactly as I am, mistakes and all. There was no fear, no guilt, and no shame. There were no threats of punishment if I stepped out of line. For once in my life I could be human and not feel bad about myself. I had the freedom to make my own choices, including what I believed in.

I don't think that our Creator cares how we envision him/her. I see her as the Great Mother. I love her not out of fear or forced servitude, but by choice. All are welcome in her presence. There is no special elitist group set above the rest of humanity as we often see in the monotheistic religions. All life comes from her, and in the end, all life returns to her as well.

So does this make me a heretic? I don't believe so. But I will no longer stand by silently and let people judge me based on what I believe. If others are comfortable following the religion they are told to follow and find comfort in their lives in their faith, then I am happy for them. But this simply no longer works for me.

There were so many contradictions in the church that I could no longer bear. We were told not to judge others, but we were given license to "inspect fruit". We were told tht God loved everybody, but somehow we as Christians were special and chosen, set apart from everybody else. We were told that we were stained, unworthy and told not to even trust our own hearts, even though we were children of God.

I apologize if this blog offends anybody. I would never intentionally do that to another person. But I feel the need to tell the truth, to finally let it out, once and for all. Why did I leave the church?

I did not reject Christ as some would say. I am not without a personal spiritual life and connection to the Divine as others might whisper behind my back. I guess it all boils down to this... I left the church because of LOVE. I love people who are not Christians. I have friends who are Jews, Pagans, Athiests and Agnostics. These are wonderful friends, and I don't believe for a moment that they are condemned for their beliefs. I don't believe that anyone has the right to try to force their beliefs on another. I have seen (and participated in) using fear and guilt tactics to see others convert to Christianity.

Along with love for my fellow man, I also left the church out of love for the Divine. What I encountered out on the beach and in the forest was real. I no longer see the angry old man sitting on the throne above us all. It has taken years to get that damaging image out of my mind. And you know what? I am truly happy now. I believe in myself. I no longer judge others based on what they believe. I am free to make my own choices. And for that I am thankful.

25 Random Things About Me

1. I don’t consider myself a conservative or a liberal. I am more in the middle and try to see the perspective of both sides before making an informed decision. My final decision is usually based on what is fair for everyone involved.

2. I love animals! I believe that animals have as much right to be here as we humans do. I try to live in peace and harmony with the animal kingdom and won’t even smash spiders in the house, but pick them up and take them outside. I tried to be a Vegetarian for about a year but didn’t like what the soy products did to my body. So I eat meat, but I respect the animal who gave its life for me to eat.

3. I see dead people. Seriously, I have encountered ghosts and spirits since I was a kid. It used to really frighten me but it doesn’t so much anymore. Ghosts are people too. They’re just dead.

4. I have read comic books since I was a kid. My favorite comics are the X-Men and I read my first issue when I was 13. You can ask me any question about the X-Men and I can probably give you the correct answer. I especially feel drawn to the X-Men because of their stance on acceptance and coexistence with all people from all walks of life.

5. I have struggled with depression since I was a kid. I believe it is partly genetic as my sister, brother and grandmother all had their own struggles. At times it is almost overwhelming and it’s all I can do to function and make it through the day. But I usually can keep it pretty well hidden.

6. I enjoy dressing up and disguising myself with makeup, fake hair, etc. I especially have fun with horror characters and have become pretty good with my creations. I consider this my art. I have never lost a contest I have entered for best costume.

7. I enjoy singing. When I was a kid I used to run away from church with my brother and hide because we hated singing in the kid’s choir. I sang for many years in church but more recently have started singing karaoke with friends.

8. Fantasy and horror are my favorite genre in movies and books. I have always had the need to escape the real world. Fantasy is a healthy outlet for me to do so.

9. I have a dark side and often find comfort with things that most people would find morbid or bizarre. I love Graveyards, Freaks, Krypt Kiddies, and listening to dark music. I was an active member of a Goth club for a couple of years but everybody moved away. They were awesome friends!

10. I formerly followed the Christian religion for many years, but after some extremely painful events in Eastern Ky caused me to take an honest look at what I believed, I left the church and now follow my own, very private, and very personal path of Nature Based Spirituality. Much of what I believe was practiced by the ancient Druids and Native Americans. It’s a very peaceful, all inclusive path.

11. I am far too critical of myself. When I make a mistake I go over it in my mind again and again and try to think of ways I could have done better. Whether it is a makeup job, singing a song, or a conversation I have with a friend. If I mess up I find it hard to just let it go.

12. One of my biggest regrets is that I never finished college. I only had one semester left before I got a two year degree, but I was young and in love with Patti and couldn’t concentrate on my studies, so I dropped out. Still, I have been fortunate to work myself into management where my experience has helped make up for my lack of formal education.

13. I can’t stand pushy, arrogant people who think only about themselves. It makes me so angry when I see people like this treating others bad. In my line of work I often have to deal with these types of folks and I am always nice and polite although I would really like to tell them off.

14. I didn’t have my first taste of alcohol until I was 40 years old. I have never smoked a cigarette or taken drugs of any kind.

15. One of these days I would love to travel and see Europe. I would especially like to visit the castles, tors and holy wells in Ireland and Scotland.

16. One of the things that is the hardest for me to deal with is saying goodbye to a friend. It never fails that somebody who I come to really care about ends up moving away, or else I do. Of course we still keep in touch, but the closeness, the camaraderie, it’s just not the same. I have said goodbye far too many times in my life. It always hurts me deeply.

17. I can’t stand to be preached at. I do not like it when people try to tell me what I should believe and how I should live my life. Like they know what’s best for me without having spent a day in my shoes. I will listen respectfully to the beliefs of others, but when they get too preachy I shut them out.

18. I get bored very easily. Routine bores me to tears. I am always craving adventure and looking for something new and exciting to do.

19. I enjoy silence. Sometimes the noise from the TV, the video games and the neighbors’ loud music is just too much. I enjoy taking walks alone in the woods to clear my mind and escape the noise.

20. I enjoy working with herbs and plants and have found that I have quite a green thumb. I harvest my own plants from my herb garden and also from the wild to be used in teas and tinctures for healing.

21. Halloween is and always has been my favorite holiday. I love the fall and it’s my favorite time of year.

22. I try too hard to please people. I go out of my way to get people to like me. If somebody doesn’t like me, I take it very personal and try even harder to be nice to them. I realize this is a personality flaw, but I’ve always been this way.

23. I do not have a “Me First” attitude. If somebody cuts in front of me in line at the grocery store, I don’t get angry, I just let them go ahead. I’m in no big hurry. One of my favorite Bible verses is Matthew 20:16 "So the last will be first, and the first will be last."

24. I am a terrible liar. People can tell when I am telling a fib because I have been told I have this wicked little gleam in my eye.

25. Up until yesterday I had never set foot in a gym before. One of my buddies asked me to give it a try and I had fun, so I signed up for membership today and am going to start working out with my friend on a regular basis.

And there you have it!

Finding Meaning Amidst the Madness

It lingers like a mist filled morning when the sun refuses to shine. It suffers in shallow waters like a beached whale. It screams in silence like a fly trapped in a spider's web.



I'm smiling on the outside, laughing and making jokes. No need to worry about me, every thing is just fine. But in the corridors of my mind, waiting just around the corner, the darkness lurks. It whispers silently, beckoning me to it's cold embrace. I resist and fight for a time, but the call is irresistable. A siren song, promising to protect me and keep me from harm. When I surrender, I have found safety once again. Nothing can hurt me here.

I have wrestled with depression for as long as I can remember. Sometimes I believe that it is genetic as my brother and sister have also battled their own inner demons. My Dad's mother also suffered with depression for most of her life and we spoke about the subject on more than one occasion. She was a kindred spirit and I miss her dearly.

I don't really talk about it much with friends. I am afraid that it would drive them away. Instead, I do my best to help others and to always be the one who is there to offer support and a shoulder to cry on. I have become a sponge for human emotions, soaking up the sorrow and hurt around me. But there is never a release, never a place where I feel that I can safely relinquish what is being held captive inside. Like a dam, I stand firm, holding back the raging waters.



My sister Janet and I have often discussed the similar feeling that we are somehow displaced in time, for lack of better words. That somewhere, somewhen, there is a place where we belong, and a people who know us and accept us for who we are. I have often joked and laughed with my sister that perhaps we are faerie changelings, switched at birth with our true human counterparts. Existing in this world, but never truly a part. We can be in a crowd, yet feel completely alone, like we don't really belong.

Any emotion that I experience is felt deeply, and at times even the good emotions can be painful. So I often wear a mask, smiling with encouragement to those that I care about. I love masks. They hide the truth, which is often too uncomfortable to bear.

I don't want to give the impression that my entire life is spent in darkness. There are times when I experience great joy, and at other times I have encountered spiritual experiences that have left me elated and hungering for more. But there is rarely ever an even medium.



Tomorrow when I wake up I may regret writing this post. I may worry about what those who read it may think. I may feel embarassed for letting down my guard, removing the mask and being honest with my feelings. After all, I don't want to be seen as weak or crazy. But this is a part of who I am. Maybe, someday, I will be able to remove the mask to those who would truly understand and accept me in a non judgemental way. But for now...

Death Where Is Thy Sting?

Recently a friend of the family passed away unexpectedly. He was only 39 and had just purchased a home. Things were going great in his life, as he posted on his Facebook profile one evening. That very night he had a brain hemorrhage and went into a coma from which he never awoke. Our family attended his memorial service this last weekend.

With the recent loss of my Mom and with the passing of this young man, I have found myself thinking more often about my own mortality. I will be 45 in September, and I just recently came to the realization that in only 15 years I will be 60!



I am not afraid of Death. In fact, she has been a constant companion in my life. I am a person of faith and do believe in an afterlife, although I do not follow the traditional ideas of Heaven and Hell. I can't bring myself to believe in a Creator who would send anybody to a lake of fire for eternal punishment for their sins. Nobody that I have ever met has done anything that would deserve such a punishment. To me, the idea of Hell is the most sadistic and cruel torment conceivable. How could a God who was good possibly condone such a thing? Likewise, I don't believe in a Heaven that is reserved only for the faithful of one religion. That's far too elitist for me. Think about it, according to most modern religions, God judges us simply by what we believe, not by who we are.



When I was a kid I read a Chick tract that caused me a great deal of alarm and worry for the fate of my soul. In the little comic book, God was a faceless, impersonal giant who sat on a great throne. When the man in the comic book died, he stood naked while his entire life was displayed on a giant movie screen for everybody to see and he was judged for all of his sins. As a young boy, I was afraid that I would meet the same fate, and I would stand naked and humiliated as every bad thought and deed I ever had was displayed for all to see. Thankfully, I later came to realize that this was simply a fear tactic used to scare people into following the Christian religion.

So what do I believe about the afterlife? Well, I must honestly confess that I don't know exactly what awaits on the other side, but I am not afraid. I sometimes look forward to the afterlife as the ultimate adventure, the great unknown. The ancient Celts believed in the Summerlands, a peaceful resting place where the dead were reunited with their families and loved ones. They also believed in reincarnation. These ideas are much more compatible with my own personal beliefs about death and rebirth.

I can't conceive of the idea that when we die we simply cease to exist. That would be the worst fate possible, apart from suffering in Hell for eternity. I can't believe that this life is all that their is. I believe that the soul, that part of a person that captures who they are and makes them unique, lives on in some way. I don't follow any particular religious texts for my guide in such matters. Instead I look to the book of Nature. To me, Nature gives a pretty accurate account of the journey of the soul. We all travel through the seasons of life until we reach the winter of our death. But life doesn't end there! The spring comes again, as it does year after year. Life continues on in an endless circle, and I believe that it is the same way with the human spirit.



One of these days I will breathe my last and will face life's ultimate adventure... Death! I believe that she will wrap me gently in her arms and carry me over to the other side, to the Summerlands where I will be reunited with my loved ones who have made the journey before me. Can I prove it? No, but I can look to Mother Nature for answers. It's all written there, if you just know where to look.

Mom

Today is Mother's Day. If somebody had told me a year ago on this day that it would be the last time I would ever get to wish my Mom a Happy Mother's Day, I probably would not have believed them. Mom seemed to be in pretty good health at the time, but soon after that she began to have health issues.


My Mom passed away on November 11, 2009. She was diagnosed with cancer on our wedding anniversary and died just a few weeks later. I was fortunate enough to be there when she passed from this life into the next. As sad and heartbreaking as it was, to be able to hold her hand when she died was one of the most beautiful experiences of my life.

I wrote what was on my heart and read it at Mom's funeral. It was very difficult to do but I made it through. I'm including it here in my blog. I miss you Mom. Happy Mother's Day.



Mom

The word is endearing and speaks to our hearts of love, comfort and home.

My Mother brought me into this world nine months after she and Dad lost everything that they owned to a flood that destroyed the town of Klamath, CA. Mom was always there for me and as a child she fed me, wiped my bottom and dressed me. She would gently kiss me on my cheek and tell me goodnight. I never imagined that at the end of her life that I would do the same for her.

Mom was known and loved by many people from all over the country. You knew her as Pastor’s Wife, Missionary, WMU Director, Teacher and Soul Winner. Her children, grandchildren and daughters-in-law knew her as Mamaw. Her love for us was incomparable. She always gave of herself to her children and spoiled her grandchildren mercilessly.

As children, Mom looked after us. She packed our lunches and made sure our clothes were clean for school. Mom was always there to chase the ghouls and goblins out from under our beds at night, and to wipe away our tears when we were picked on by bullies on the playground. Mom laughed at our stories, bragged on our successes and shared our tears when we failed. She was always willing to believe the best in us and forgive the worst.

Mom was our cook, housekeeper, chauffer, therapist and more. She was the clown who always made us laugh with her unusual names for everything, her unique personality, and her little accidents.

Mom had suffered for several months before she was finally diagnosed with cancer. We were all surprised at how quickly she went. I am so thankful that I was able to spend time with her before she died. Her last words to me were on Monday night as I made my peace with her and told her not to worry about me and my family. “I love you” were her last words to me. She had to struggle to voice those words through parched lips. My reply to her was “I know you do Mom. I have never doubted for one moment your love for me.”

Mom – No other word in the English language captures in the imagination the unconditional love that our Creator has for us. Is it any wonder that the Bible describes God in parental terms? While we are all familiar with God as Father, there are many verses that support the idea of the Maternal aspect of God as well.

Matthew 23:37 How often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings.

Isaiah 66:13 As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you.

Deuteronomy 32:11 Describes God “Like an eagle that stirs up its nest and hovers over its young, that spreads its wings to catch them and carries them on its pinions.”

Comforter, Sustainer, Breath of Life. So we can compare God to a mother. Indeed She is the Great Mother. All life comes from her, and in the end all life returns to her as well.

Each of us in this room will die. It is inevitable. We can look to the seasons for the progression of life. In the spring life begins. As we are nurtured we grow and reach the summer of adulthood. All too soon comes the harvest of Autumn as we reflect upon our lives and feel the coming of Winter. As the icy snows surround us, we feel the chill of death and take our final breath. But it doesn’t end there. Before the beginning of Spring, just when all hope seems lost, a tiny bud pokes its way up through the frost, reaching for the life giving sun.

Death is not the end. As people of faith, we have the hope of new life, of rebirth and renewal. Mom is not in the casket before us. This is just an empty shell. Her spirit is free. I believe with every ounce of my being that on Wednesday November 11, 2009 at 3pm, that Mom crossed over into the next life and every hope and dream that she ever held in her heart was met when she saw the face of her God.

A few minutes after Mom passed, my sister Janet called me outside and told me to look at the bird bath. A white dove sat there and fluttered up into the big maple tree in the back yard. As the bird flew away, I was reminded of the symbol of the dove representing the Holy Spirit in the Bible and couldn’t help but smile. Mom was in good hands.

I love you Mom. I’ll see you again someday when the white dove comes for me.

Beltane

This past Saturday was May Day, also known as Beltane. The origins of this day go far back into Celtic history and the celebration of this day is growing in popularity as we are seeing a larger number of people following an Earth based spirituality.

The festivities begin the night before on the Eve of Beltane. It was once very common to see bonfires lit on this night and young men would leap through the flames for good luck in the months ahead. Sometimes two bonfires would be lit and the people would drive their cattle between them to ensure health and fertility for their livestock.

Another popular symbol of this day is the Maypole. This consists of a tall pole decked with ribbons. The dancers each take a ribbon, males and females each holding an alternate color, and the dance begins as the revelers weave in and out until the pole is wrapped from top to bottom in the colorful ribbons. This practice was outlawed at one time by the church. The leaders disapproved of the obvious sexual symbolism of this dance. It was the custom for young couples to sneak off into the woods to enjoy a night of romance. Consequently, many young women would give birth to bouncy babies nine months later. These babies were considered to be blessed by the people who followed these traditions.



Nevertheless, the celebration of Beltane continues to live on in the hearts of those who follow the Old Ways. This is said to be a magical time and the gates of the Otherworld are believed to be wide open, allowing glimpses of the Faerie Realm as well as loved ones who have passed on. In this regard, Beltane Eve is quite similar to Halloween, which sits across on the opposite side in the wheel of the year.

The Mother Goddess, also called the Queen of May, is said to be joined in union with her lover as all of creation awakens for the coming summer. He is usually depicted as a young, athletic man with the horns of a deer. In Celtic mythology he was known as Cernunnos and was Lord of the Animals. He was worshipped by the Druids and many carvings and pottery pieces with his image have been preserved. The early church, in an attempt to convert the Pagan people to Christianity, created the false idea that the horned god was Satan. Up to this point, Satan had never been depicted with horns or a tail. Very much the opposite of the Christian Devil, Cernunnos was known as the All Father and was protector and provider for the people.



Beltane is one of my favorite times of the year. Spring is in full force, the sun is shining, and Nature is in full bloom. I usually seem to have extra energy and am ready to spend more time outdoors after being cooped up inside during the cold winter months.

Another popular custom for the Beltane season is Mummery which is still practiced in some parts of the Celtic World as is portrayed in Loreena McKennitt's song "The Mummer's Dance", a song remembering Beltane and the Old Ways. This wonderful song also mentions the old practice of tying ribbons in the branches of trees, an act that was believed to bring good fortune from the Nature Spirits.



Spring is in full bloom! Go outdoors and enjoy the wonders of Nature!

Friend To The End

I have been blessed in my life to have many friends. My friends come in a wide variety and assortment of people from many different walks of life. I have friends who are very conservative, along with friends who have an extremely liberal viewpoint. I have friends from many different religious and spiritual paths including Christians, Jews and Pagans. Many of my friends do not claim any religious affiliation and are Agnostic or Athiest. Race doesn't matter to me and many of my friends are black. I am friends with singles, married couples, and gays and lesbians. Some of my friends are ordained ministers, while others enjoy the party life and getting drunk on the weekend.



Different friends provide a unique level of friendship. Some friends are great conversationalists and stimulate my mind with deep and probing questions on life and matters of faith. Other friends are just plain fun to hang around and keep me laughing and enjoying myself completely. Then there are those who are there for me when I really need them. I may not hear from them that often, but when a tragedy comes, like the recent loss of my Mom, those friends are right there to lift me up.

When I make a friend, I like to keep the friendship alive for life. I do my best to remember their birthday every year and special events in their life. Even when they move on I keep in touch. That's just the way I am. A friend to the end.



I have friends that I have known since I was a child who I still keep in touch with. I have friends scattered all over the United States and a good friend who lives in Ireland.

I have recently made a new bunch of friends at work and we have had a great time together including a couple of times out at a local casino for karaoke.



I love the word "Hello". It's always fun and exciting to meet a new friend and to get to know that person. On the other hand, the word "Goodbye" is very painful for me. I have had to say this word more times than I care to count to very close friends as either they or I had to move on to another place. There is a part of me that is hesitant to develope new friendships as I realize that the goodbye will eventually come. But the good times that we have together makes it worth it.

I am a person who cares deeply. I love my family, although they don't often hear me say it. Likewise, I love all of my friends, even though I enjoy picking on many of them and giving them a hard time.

I recently read a quote that I found to be very true: "Each friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."

I used to listen to a song by Contemporary Christian artist Wayne Watson "A Season In Your Path" and it speaks about friends who are there at specific times in your life, just when you need them, and then they move on.


Most of the friends that I have made as an adult were at the places I was employed. I invariably get them involved in dress up days and projects for Halloween and have enjoyed numerous occasions of encouraging friends to get dressed up for different events.

To those of you who are friends from my past, I still think about you from time to time. I do my best to keep in touch, even though we are separated by miles and time. To my friends I have made locally, I value your friendship and enjoy hearing from you and getting together. And to my new friends, I am excited about having had the opportunity to meet you and to get to know you better.



I can't imagine a life without friends. I can go online at any time, day or night, and there will almost always be somebody available who I can chat with if I need to. I am thankful for you all and wish you the best!

Creative Streak

I get bored very easily. In fact, I am always on the move, looking for new and exciting experiences. I crave adventure, and if my life gets stuck in a routine I quickly become depressed and lethargic. If I sit still for more than a few minutes, I begin to drift off to sleep.

I have often wondered if I have ADD but have just never been diagnosed. I spend a lot of time in my head, probably much more than I should, but this is just how I have learned to cope with life. I will often be in a conversation with a family member or friend when my mind begins to wander. Before I realize it, I am completely oblivious to what is being said. I'm not purposely trying to be rude, and it's not that I don't care about the other person and what they have to say. My mind just won't shut down. That's just how it works.

I feel the most fulfilled when I am in the process of creating something. I believe that creation is a gift, a drive within each of us, and there is nothing quite like seeing a project come to fruition.

I have quite a vivid imagination and at times it has led me into a fair amount of trouble. I just don't see the world like other people do. What may seem foolishness and fantasy may be reality to me. I don't draw the lines in the sand in the same spot as normal folks. No, I like to push the boundary a little.

Sometimes I wonder if it's not for attention, cravings from my childhood that were sometimes ignored as my parents were very busy with the church.

I have developed a talent for makeup, costumes, and acting. My favorite genre is horror and I always try to outdo myself, creating the most outlandish and freakish characters that I can imagine. My favorite horror character is Legault the Vampire. I have never lost a costume contest as this character. Indeed, I sometimes feel that he is my dark side, allowed to take shape and form when I put on the makeup and the cloak of darkness. I have even been told that my eyes appear to change color when I portray this character.

When my two oldest boys were younger, many weekends were spent filming crazy videos. The family got so tired of it all that I finally had to put an end to it. I was involved with several projects with friends including haunted houses, skits and plays while living in Eastern Kentucky.

I recently spent some time with my younger son, Alex, and we created a video using my Krypt Kiddies dolls. Alex did an amazing job putting the film together, working with the music and individual scenes. He has quite a talent for that sort of thing. We named our short film "Babies From Hell".



I was never into sports or cars, not like normal little boys. No,I could usually be found reading comic books or novels about Tarzan or Conan the Barbarian. As a teenager I was introduced to the role playing game Dungeons & Dragons. I still enjoy all of these hobbies, even as an adult.

So if you are ever speaking to me and you can tell that my mind is a million miles away, please realize that I am nor purposely being rude. My mind is simply formulating it's next adventure. Gently get my attention, bring me back to reality, and I'll do my best to listen.

You Gotta Have Faith

From as far back as I can remember I was taught that there was a higher power that created the universe and was ultimately in control of eternity. As a preacher's kid being raised in a Conservative Christian environment, that Creator didn't always seem very nice to me, especially when I read for myself those horror stories in the Old Testament of the unfortunate souls who stepped out of line. Although I was uncomfortable with some of the stories, I still believed, without question, that there was a God.

I was recently faced with an interesting and thought provoking question: Why do people of faith believe what they do? Last week I had the opportunity, on two separate occasions, to have lunch with a different friend. In both instances, the conversation led to matters of faith and belief. Also in both instances, the friend that I had lunch with told me that he was Agnostic.

I have learned to listen with respect to the beliefs shared by others, even when I don't agree with everything that they have to say. Sometimes by staying silent and just listening, I have found great wisdom in the words of others. In the past I would have argued for the case of the existence of God, using my Bible to back me up. Those days are over, as I have since become much more respectful of the beliefs held by others. I have also discovered that you can't have two people in the same room without there being a disagreement of some sort when it comes to such matters, even if they follow the same religion.

So these conversations with my friends led me to do some deep thinking of my own. Why is it that I hold on to my own personal beliefs? Do I believe in a higher power because that is what I was taught to believe as a child? Do I believe because some holy book tells me that if I don't I will burn in Hell forever? The answer to both of those questions is surprisingly NO.



As I have mentioned in previous blogs, I was once a dedicated Christian and very much involved with the church. After the events that took place in Kentucky several years ago, I went through my own Dark Night of the Soul where I came painfully face to face with questions about who I was, what I believed, and why. For a short time I was Agnostic. I just could not bring myself to believe in a God who would allow such a horrible thing to happen to myself and my family. It was a dark and miserable time in my life.

When I moved back to California, I realized that my days as a church going man were over. And yet I felt that there was something missing in my life. There was a great void that faith had once filled. At this time I was open to new beliefs and new ways of seeing the world. I wanted to see for myself what those of other faiths believed, how they worshipped, and most importantly, was it real?

I attended a Jewish Sabbat of Song and very much enjoyed the music and the way that they freely worshipped. I attended a class at Moonrise Herbs on Shamanism and listened to a woman who had been on this path for many years, studying in Japan and taking much of the wisdom she found there into her own path. I took part in a Druid ritual in a Redwood Grove and felt very much at home as the Divine was called upon in Nature. I took my ball python, Greta, with me to the Blessing of the Beasts at our local Unitarian Universalist Fellowship and was pleased to find that people were not afraid of her, but asked questions and wanted to pet her. I was allowed to hold her during the entire service inside of the fellowship hall. I went to a Zen meditation center and sat on a mat to meditate, surrounded by others doing the same. I lasted for about fifteen minutes and had to get up and leave.

In every case I was confronted with people who held different views on God and religion. But in every case I found that these people all had one thing in common. They had Faith. They all believed in something larger than themselves. This was very comforting and reassuring to me.

But back to my original question: What is it in the life of a person of faith that causes them to believe? Why are the beliefs of a religious or spiritual person different from an Agnostic or Athiest?

The answer dawned on me last week as I thought about the conversations I had with my friends over lunch. There is one major difference between the Agnostic and the person of faith. The answer is Experience.



I no longer believe in a Hell reserved for people who don't believe a certain way, and this includes Agnostics and Athiests. I believe that we are all given the freedom to discover, without fear, lifes important questions on our own. But I also believe that there is something inside of us, in some barely perceptible, that longs for something more. We are all looking for meaning and purpose in life, and part of this need, in my own belief, is only met by having an experience with the Divine.

I believe what I do, not because it's what's expected of me. I don't even follow the beliefs of the prominent religions, finding comfort in a spirituality that is Nature based in its approach. But I have had experiences in my life that can only be explained as being Divine in origin.

Science says that there is no proof for the existence of God, so He or She cannot exist. But Science cannot disprove personal experience. And that is what the person of faith clings to and cherishes. It may seem foolish to those who do not believe, but to the believer, those experiences make all of the difference in life.

For me personally, at certain times in my life, I have encountered the most incredible, unconditional love I have ever experienced. At times it is almost palpable, like I can reach out and touch it. I am almost always alone, and usually in Nature, when I have experienced this. There have been times when I was awakened from sleep to be completely enveloped by this Divine love, the full moon shining brightly on my face through the window. At other times I have felt empowered or protected, and have found the strength, not originating within myself, to move forward. I have tried, in vain, to find a love like this in human relationships, but always end up disappointed and disillusioned. There have been too many times to count, the little synchronicities, where everything just seems to fall into place, like there is a force that is guiding me along.

Some find God in their Holy Scriptures, others in hymns and songs. Some hear a calling, sometimes audible, upon their lives. Some find a connection to something larger than themselves during meditation or prayer. Some people, myself included, find the Divine in Nature and feel a deep connection there. The approaches may be different, but the end result is the same: we are all seeking to fill that space inside that can only be filled by one thing. You can call it God, Goddess, Great Spirit, the Force, the name really doesn't matter.


I personally look to Nature for questions about Creation. I don't know exactly how it all came about, but I can see the work of an intelligent mind behind the Universe. Think about it for a moment. Everything moves in a circle. The moon revolves around the Earth. The Earth revolves around the sun. Our solar system has its own rotation. Even within ourselves, as science has proven, the atoms and molecules move in a similar pattern. Then we have the seasons. Winter turns to Spring, Spring turns to Summer, Summer turns to Autumn, and then we are back to Winter again. Everything has an order. Even in the animal and plant kingdom, there is an order, a progression from birth to life and eventually death, and the circle continues. Something has set this all into place. I don't believe for a second that all of this is just some big coincidence.

So I continue to hold to my own beliefs, finding comfort and peace in my connection through Nature. For those of you who have found the Divine, no matter what religion or spiritual path you choose to follow, I wish you well on your journey. To those of you who do not believe, for whatever reason, that's fine as well. But one of these days, you may be faced with an experience that changes your mind. Something to think about.

In Memory of Trees

I love trees! In fact, I would even go so far as to say that some of my best friends are trees. Trees don't judge you by how you look, by the color of your skin, or by what religion you follow. Trees are patient and endearing. Indeed, we humans can learn a lot from trees, if we will just slow down and take the time to truly listen. As a kid I loved to spend my time outdoors in the woods and could often be found in the company of trees.

I have recently started reading a book entitled "Whispers In The Woods". The author encourages her readers to think back upon all the places that they have lived. In each of these places, there will be at least one or two trees that stand out. When you think about these special trees, memories will begin to flood your mind. I tried it and the author is absolutely right!

Some of my earliest memories with trees were in the woods back behind our home where I grew up in Klamath, CA. My brother and sister and I would spend hours in the woods, climbing trees, making forts, and splashing in the creek. There was one particular tree that was growing from a small island in the middle of the creek. The tree grew at such a slant that we could walk up the trunk. I remember another time when I had just visited a barber and he cut my hair too short. I was just a little tyke then and very self concious about my haircut. I was at church on Sunday morning and there was a teenage girl there who began to tease me about my hair. I was so upset that I ran away and went straight out into the woods. There was a group of trees that we called the Rainbow Trees. They were bowed like rainbows and covered in thick green moss. I climbed up into the branches of the trees and cried my eyes out over being made fun of. I will never forget that experience and feeling safe in the sheltering branches of those trees.

Years ago when we were living in Eastern Kentucky, we were renting a house from an older couple that was down an old road. There was an enormous Willow Tree in our front yard and we would often see a woodpecker there pecking away. One year the locusts came and the tree, as well as all of the trees surrounding the area, were filled with locusts. The sound that they made was deafening. I also remember summer nights when the fireflies would flicker and dance in the Willow Tree, giving it the appearance of something out of Fairyland.

More recently when we moved back to California we rented a home from my wife's cousin and lived there for several years. There was a Redwood Tree in the back yard and the kids liked to climb up near the top from where they could see the ocean. I enjoyed laying out in the yard and reading under the shade of the tree. I spent many evenings under the tree enjoying the view of the full moon to the east. This special tree was a resting place for Blue Jays, Mourning Doves, Ravens, and many other birds. In the yard were also a pair of apple trees and three plum trees. We would gather the fruit every fall and have enough to last for months.

I enjoy hiking at Hiller Park and have come across several interesting trees there. One of my favorites is an enormous Sitka Spruce. It is growing on a hill overlooking the Mad River. Once when I was hiking alone out in the woods I came across an amazing sight. Imagine my surprise when I saw a tree with a face! I took a closer look and discovered that somebody had attached eyes, nose and a mouth to the tree. It stayed that way for months until some hoodlum tore the face off of the tree. I still enjoy visiting the tree whenever I am in the area. There are many special trees in the park and I try to get away there whenever I can.

One of my greatest pleasures is camping among the Redwoods. Last summer I went on a camping trip with some friends down at Avenue of the Giants. One of the girls took several of us to see a rare Albino Redwood Tree. I was in awe of this beautiful tree and felt humbled in her presence. There are only a few of these trees in the world, a handful of them being in the Avenue of the Giants area. Months later I took the family on a picnic and afterwards introduced them to the Albino Redwood.


We humans have a symbiotic relationship with trees. Without the oxygen that they produce, we would perish. Likewise, they require the carbon monoxide that we breathe out to survive.

When I see a tree I do not see a soulless "thing". I see a living, breathing creature, deserving of respect. I believe that they have much to tell us. But we have to slow down to listen to what they have to say. Even as an adult, I still find comfort in the branches of a tree.

So I challenge you. Think back to the places you have lived during your life. Does a particular tree stand out in your mind? Meditate on that special tree and allow the cherised memories to return.