Displaced in Time

Have you ever felt like you were born in the wrong time period, that maybe something got messed up and you should have been born in another time, another place? I have had this feeling for as long as I can remember. Ironically, my sister Janet has told me that she feels the same way.

No matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to find a place where I completely fit in. I lived most of my life associating with conservatives and found their viewpoint and lifestyle far too restricting for me. More recently I have made friendships with people who are very liberal in their beliefs, and some of their ideas and practices have left me feeling uncomfortable. So where do I stand?

I often long for a simpler, easier life. I get up every morning about 5:30 am and rush to work, driving about 14 miles to reach my destination. From the minute I punch the time clock, my day is a blur of non stop action. I am constantly interrupted and side-tracked, facing one problem after another. My job as a manager is very stressful, and at the end of the day I am completely drained and exhausted. I have often stated that at the end of my shift I feel like I have run a marathon. I put all of my time and energy into filling the pockets of someone higher up on the corporate ladder. We live a very meager and frugal existence, and barely make ends meet from paycheck to paycheck. I'm not ungrateful, nor am I the kind of person who fails to give thanks. And yet I want more for my life.

Sometimes I imagine what it would have been like to have been born in a different time and place. I grow so weary of the rat race and being constantly stressed out, phones ringing, customers complaining, deadlines looming. All of my needs are met, but when it comes down to it, am I really happy?

Sometimes I can picture myself living in ancient times. I am especially drawn to the Celtic peoples and their customs and beliefs. Would I have fit in with a society like theirs? After all, I do have some Irish blood on my Father's side. I am part Cherokee from my Mother's side and sometimes imagine myself living as a Native American in the past.

Both of these peoples had a great love and relationship with Nature. They were deeply spiritual and valued their community and their ancestors. They weren't locked away from Nature behind four walls. Their entire way of life revolved around the cycles and seasons of the year. Even their understanding of the Divine was tied into the natural world. They were a close knit community of family and friends. They lived and worked side by side. They told stories around the campfire, and celebrated their feasts and rituals. They lived in harmony with Nature and Her creatures.

Obviously I enjoy the comforts of modern life with electricity, running water, a computer and TV to watch an occasional movie. But I long for a simpler way of life. I would like to feel good about myself at the end of the day, instead of feeling like an indentured servant. What I wouldn't give to have my own plot of land somewhere away from it all. I would enjoy working in a garden, milking a cow, and gathering eggs. It would be nice to have time to sit around a fireplace and enjoy a good book on a cold, winter's night, instead of worrying about the reports already waiting on my desk for the next morning. I would enjoy the sounds of Nature as opposed to noisy automobiles and neighbors playing their country music too loud. I wouldn't be interrupted every five minutes to answer a phone, or stressed out from a hectic, fast paced job. I would enjoy working with my hands and seeing what I was able to accomplish for myself and for my family. I would be free.

People are leaving the modern, stressful lifestyle by the droves. My wife Patti and I often talk about this as a dream that we would like to see come to life someday. If we could only get out of debt and save some money. But this lifestyle prevents that. Rent, groceries and bills suck the money dry until there is nothing left.

And yet I have hope. I believe that someday our dream will come true. Maybe when the boys are all grown and out on their own. Maybe then we will be able to save some money.

In the meantime, I guess I don't have a choice but to punch the time clock and work in an environment that keeps my blood pressure up. But one of these days, I'm going to say goodbye to it all. That's my dream. At least I have that.

God Thinks

I consider myself a spiritual person. Not religious, mind you, although I was raised as a Christian and identified myself as such for most of my life.

I have been following with some interest the latest developments in the world of faith and religion. In the Muslim world we have protestors bombing Christian churches due to the use of the word Allah as their preferred name for God. According to these radicals, only Muslims have the right to call God Allah.

I really have a problem with that. I have a problem with any group that claims their path to God to be the "Only Way", especially when they are cruel to others who don't subscribe to their particular brand of religion. What gives these people the right to lay claim to exclusive use of the name Allah for God? This is a very personal thing, something that nobody else has the right to control. A person should be able to call God by any name that they choose according to their own understanding of the Divine, be it Yahweh, Allah, Jesus... or even Isis!

From what I understand of the Muslim faith, Islam began as a peaceful religion. It is sad that in our world today that factions of this religion are the face of terrorism. Instead of striving to live in peace and harmony with their fellow man, they are committing countless unspeakable acts of violence, all in the name of their God. It is happening on a daily basis.

In America we tend to be a little more civilized. We don't use bombs to strike at our enemies. We use words! Take for example TV Evangelist Pat Robertson. With the recent earthquake in Haiti it is feared that over 100,000 are dead. Mr. Robertson, speaking the words of God, stated that the Lord brought his judgement upon this nation that signed a pact with the Devil.

It infuriates me every time I hear this man speak. He spews such poison and hatred and claims his message to be from God. What upsets me even more is that he has sheep who follow him blindly, hanging on to his every word. Too weak to think for themselves, these people believe this man and give of their time and money to his causes.

It is humorous that people like those mentioned above claim to know what God thinks. The Creator of the Universe only loves certain people, while others he decides to punish in horrendous ways. What a loving God! But one thing I have discovered in my life: People who claim to know God and treat their fellow man with malice are liars.

There is a song that comes to mind every time I hear about such nonsense going on in our world. In his song "God Thinks" the artist Voltaire sings to such people "God thinks you're an idiot. God prefers a heretic. God thinks all people like you are hateful. God thinks all people like you are an embarrassment to creation. Self-righteous, judgmental, first to throw a stone and use His name for your own agenda."

You can watch him perform the song live in the video clip below.



So many people are disillusioned with organized religion, myself being one of them. And yet, I feel drawn to the Divine. I have my own personal way of relation to the Creator, and for the most part, I keep it very private.

I have heard enough of other people telling me what God thinks, including where I should go to church, what music I should listen to, what books I should read, what movies I should watch, where I should eat, who my friends should be... and the list stretches on and on. Whenever somebody tells me that their holy book or their view on religion is the "Absolute Truth" I immediately tune them out. This kind of thinking has caused so much damage to our world.

So what are we to do, those who still believe, yet refuse to play the game, not conforming to the standard organized religions of our day?

Yesterday I treated the family to the movie Avatar in 3D. I have to say that the special effects were awesome, more beautiful and realistic than I could have imagined. I went to see the movie, not knowing the spiritual truths that would be conveyed. The story is ageless, and has been told in many cultures, in many ways. Yet the truth behind the tale is essentially the same. There exists a peaceful people who live in communion with Nature. Their deity isn't up in Heaven somewhere sitting in judgement over them all. Their Creator lives within them, and within every animal and tree in the forest. They have learned to truly listen, and to see. They are a community with deep reverance for their Creator and all living things. Then outsiders come. Insisting their way is the only way, they do whatever it takes to convert the natives to their brand of thinking. When the natives refuse, they are massacred, their sacred sites destroyed, and they are forced to move on.

My wife Patti asked me the other day what I believed. After watching Avatar, I told her that this is the closest thing on film that I have ever seen that I can relate to as far as my spiritual beliefs go.

In my opinion, the native peoples had it right. The Native Americans, Druids, and other indigenous peoples lived in harmony with Nature and their Deity. Yes, we tend to romanticize these ancient peoples, glossing over some of the attrocities that they commited. Yet at heart, they understood the truth. God wasn't just Father to them, but Mother as well. Nature and Her creatures were sacred. They loved and honored their elders and ancestors.

How far we have come. We have trashed the planet, fought over the correct way to worship God, and consider animals and trees soulless things without value. I often long for a simpler, more peaceful time. I am still searching for a people, a community, who lives in harmony with Nature and honors their Creator in a loving, non-judgemental way. Maybe someday...

Preparing for The Big One

Last Saturday Patti and I went to our local Blockbuster to rent some videos. I was browsing through the horror section, trying to find something that I haven't seen before. Patti grabbed a chick flick while I continued my seemingly endless search. Suddenly the building shook. My first impression was that a truck had run into the building. As it continued, I realize the truth. Earthquake!

The ground began to move, and the feeling was very similar to being on a swinging bridge. The shelves began to shake and the signs were swaying back and forth. Things kind of calmed down for a moment and then it started up again. Patti was freaked out and called home on my cell phone. There was no answer and we were concerned about the boys. I let Patti go ahead and pay for her chick flick rental and then we hurried home. The electricity had gone out at our house, but there was no damage. The boys were fine and our middle son, Matthew, had prepared to get his younger brother and drag him under the kitchen table if the quake had gotten worse.

Having no idea what was going on in the rest of the county, we contacted our oldest son, Ryan, in Texas and had him check it out on the internet. We soon discovered that we had been hit by a 6.5 Earthquake, the biggest one I have ever experienced.

Take a look at this surveilance video from the Arcata Co-Op, a local store that Patti and I often frequent!



On Sunday I was called in to work to help deal with some problems as a result of the quake and found that the building had suffered some damage and the second floor looked like a tornado had hit it. There were books, papers and supplies strewn all over the floor. I took a look at the pictures in the paper and couldn't believe the destruction in some of our local stores. Eureka had been hit much harder than we had.

The night of the earthquake when we were without power, we began to discuss the importance of being prepared. This earthquake hadn't been too bad for us, but what about next time? What if The Big One hit? We decided that at the first opportunity we need to stock up on some emergency canned goods, and especially water.

After about 30 minutes, Alex began to complain that he was bored and what could he possibly do for entertainment without electricity? Matthew brought up the subject of the end of the world, the Apocalypse. It was dark and creepy with only candles to light the house. I teased Alex, asking him what he would do if there were zombies trying to get in through the sliding glass door. He got a little spooked and wanted to borrow the flashlight. I was reminded of some of the movies that I have seen on the subject, "I Am Legend" being my favorite.

I went to bed that night a little shaken. We were lucky this time. But what about next time? We are only about a mile from the ocean. A Tsunami would knock out the bridge over the Mad River and we would be stranded. Living on the North Coast, it's best to be prepared for these kinds of disasters. I feel the need to stock up on supplies, a medical kit, extra matches and flash lights. As time passes and the quake is a distant memory, the urgency will go away. I need to do something about it now. We should all be prepared, wherever we live, for The Big One!

The End of a Decade

The New Year came pretty quickly, and with it a brand new decade. I am approaching this new era with hope and optimism. I have a little ritual of my own where I write out the highlights of the previous year on New Years Eve and then write down my resolutions. I seal the letter in an envelope and keep it until the next New Years Eve when I open it and read it once again. Sometimes I am happy with myself for meeting the goals I have set. At other times I look back and wonder how the time passed by so fast, and realize that I didn't come anywhere close to attaining my goals.

With the new decade arriving, I began to look ahead, imagining the possibilities and the events that may unfold by the time we reach the next decade, 2020. By that time all of my boys will be graduated from high school, the two oldest should be college graduates by then. Could this be the decade that Patti and I become grandparents? Then I began the more somber imagining of who will no longer be with us when we reach the year 2020.

Overall the past decade was a good one for me and my family. The year 2000 came while we were still living in Pikeville, Ky. I was the night manager at a grocery store when Y2K arrived. I remember having to work until midnight in case their computers crashed. I had to ring in the New Year on the phone with my wife. In the spring of 2000 I was offered a job as Team Manager at Sykes and stayed with them until the doors closed in April 2004.

I took that opportunity to move back to California, something that we had dreamed of doing ever since we made that fateful decision to move back to Kentucky with Mom and Dad in 1989. Shortly after moving back to California, I was offered a position at our local newspaper and have been with them since.

This decade would see many happy times, visits to the beaches and redwood parks, hiking, biking, camping, activities that I had not participated in for years. My love for animals has grown and I have had the pleasure of the company of many animal companions, including ones I never imagined that I would meet. We have our cats Simba and Tika, my ball python Greta, Mojo the bearded dragon, Emma and Fievel my rats, and Hades the beta fish.

Sadly, some animals would come and go in my life including my ferrets Scamp and Skittles, Scabbers the rat, my frog Peepers, our cat Sassy, Charlotte the tarantula, and Piggy our guinea pig.

This past decade saw the deaths of several friends and family members. Most notably were the deaths of family friend Mary Cobb in 2006, my mother-in-law Kay Dean in 2006, my grandmother Ruth Boyd in 2008, and the passing of my mother, Suzanne Boyd, in November of 2009.

We moved twice within the last decade, our first move was from Kentucky back to California in 2004 to a home that we rented from Patti's cousin for several years. Then in 2008 we moved again, this time just a short drive down the road in the same town.

I have made many new friends during this decade, more than any decade that I have lived through. I have a hard time keeping up with all of my friends from Sykes, there were so many. I have made several friends who have come and gone at the newspaper, as well as a group of Goths that I met up with for a couple of years when we first moved back to California.

One of the biggest changes in my life during the last decade, one that I never would have imagined, was my decision to leave the Christian Church. It came as a result of a very painful experience at the church we were members of in Kentucky. This experience caused me to examine what I believed and why. The results were surprising, and I found peace with my faith once again in a very personal, Nature based spirituality.

This past decade also saw our oldest son Ryan leave the nest and join the army. We had the opportunity to watch Ryan graduate from OSUT in Ft. Benning, GA in October 2007. My Mom and Dad were able to come along with us and we had a great time together. Ryan has already served a tour in Iraq and hopefully will be returning home for good this summer.



We started out the decade with Patti homeschooling our kids. When we first moved to California, Patti had to work outside the home for the first time in years. When I was promoted to Classified Sales Manager at the newspaper, she was able to quit her job and return to hearth and home. With so many problems in the public schools, we decided to bring the kids back home again, our two oldest boys joining charter schools and taking their courses at home, and Alex being homeschooled for the first time. We have tried both ways and have found that homeschooling has given our children a much better, more personalized education than the public schools can provide.

I anticipate all of the good things coming my way in 2010 and am excited about beginning a new decade in my life.