The Gay Debate

"Do unto others as you would have them do to you." Jesus speaks in Luke 6:31. In Matthew 7:12 he says that this sums up the Law and the Prophets. So the way that I understand it, we should always treat others the way that we would want to be treated in a similar situation. What if this is all there was to it? No "Thou Shalt Nots" to keep people in line. Simply love others and treat them with the same courtesy and respect that you would want for yourself. Wouldn't the world be a wonderful place if everybody followed this simple philosophy?

Sadly, we are seeing much anger and hostility from the pulpits when it comes to the acceptance of Gays and Lesbians. Several extreme groups from the Religious Right are doing everything they can to ensure that these people do not have the right to marry the person they love. "Love the Sinner but hate the Sin." as the old cliche goes. But when it comes to Gays and Lesbians, that's not possible. This is who they are.

I was taught from a very early age that there was something wrong with those who followed an alternative lifestyle. They were perverted and sinful people, bound for Hell. The names Gay, Queer and Fag were tossed around the school playground at anybody who didn't fit the "Norm". Me, being a geeky skinny little guy with glasses who was more into comic books than sports usually got the brunt of the teasing in gradeschool.



Up until my thirties, I lived with the beliefs that I was raised with. I really didn't question what I was taught when it camed to Gays and Lesbians. I didn't know anybody who was Gay (at least so far as I knew) and their issues were no concern of mine.

It wasn't until I began working for Sykes in Pikeville, Ky that I left my little bubble of only surrounding myself with Christian people who held similar beliefs to my own. At Sykes, I was forced into a situation where I worked right alongside people from many different walks of life. Up to this point I had never really known any Gays, Lesbians, Pagans or Agnostics. I soon found myself making close friendships with people who weren't like me. And this is one of the best things that could ever have happened to me. I began to put myself in the shoes of other people and to understand what made them who they were. When it came right down to it, they really weren't all that different from me. They just wanted to be treated with the same courtesy and respect as everyone else.



I no longer agree with or even understand the arguments that the Far Right has against Same Sex Marriage. They claim that this will undermine traditional marriage and will cause the family to fall apart. First of all, with over 50% of marriages ending in divorce, it's kind of unfair to place the blame on an entire group of people who aren't even a part of that problem. There is also a danger with holding so rigidly to tradition. What if this same concept had been used in arguments against equal rights for women and minorities? We don't want to give equal rights to "Those" people, we've always done it this way! Tradition is good, but when others are not treated with dignity and respect, it's about time to change those traditions.

For those of you who are against Same Sex Marriage, I want for you to stop and think for just a minute. Is there somebody that you love, somebody you can't imagine living your life without? Now go a step further and imagine yourself being told that you can't marry this person. There are groups of angry people who will do everything in their power to prevent your marriage to the one you love. How would that make you feel?

Oh, but Homosexuality is a sin! It says so in the Bible. But wait just a minute... have you read ALL of your Bible? Leviticus 21:5 says that Priests must not shave their heads or shave off the edges of their beards. How many clean shaven red faced ministers have I seen on TV spouting about the sinful Gay lifestyle? How about this one... Leviticus 19:19 "Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material." Hmmm, might have some problems there. And Leviticus 19:26 states "Do not eat any meat with the blood still in it." So no more of those rare steaks!

You see what I'm trying to say? There are hundreds and hundreds of laws in the Old Testament. But do modern Christians actually follow all of them? No, it's impossible. To them, the above rules no longer apply. So why do they still continue to have a hangup over Gays and Lesbians?


I can understand that some people may not agree with this lifestyle, especially those who were raised with a strict understanding of the Bible. What I can't understand is that people would get so angry about somebody else's life and do everything in their power to not let the other person have an equal opportunity at love and happiness. To me, this goes against everything that Jesus stood for.

So what I would like to say to those extreme Right Wing Gay bashers: Leave these poor people the Hell alone! Clean up the mess in your own yard before you go poking your nose into somebody else's business. Put yourself in the shoes of another person before you pick up that stone.



Sadly, some people will never change. They will continue to hate, as that is what they were taught and they know no other way.

I am glad that I moved out of my comfort zone years ago. I now count many Gays and Lesbians among my friends. I want you to know that I admire your courage in standing strong against a backlash of hate from the very people who say they follow the Prince of Peace. I believe that you have just as much right as I do to be married to the one you love. I am thankful that Patti and I never had to face what you are going through, and I look towards a brighter future when people will finally accept others for who they are, not who they choose to love.

Litha

Last night was Midsummer's Eve, the shortest night of the year. In ages past this night was said to be filled with magic and faerie mischief. Today was officially the first day of summer. We are seeing warmer weather here on the North Coast. Yesterday also happened to be Father's Day and I spent the afternoon down at Avenue of the Giants in the redwoods and by the Eel River with the family.

We have reached the waning half of the year. From this point forward, the days will gradually grow shorter until we reach the Winter Solstice which is in December, just a few days before Christmas.



Many myths and legends center on this special day. It is on this day that legends tell of the annual battle of the Oak King and Holly King. The Oak King who was born at the Winter Solstice is defeated in battle by the Holly King who reigns from this day forward until he is in turn defeated at the Winter Solstice. For those of you who don't know, the symbolism of the Holly King has been carried over into our modern interpretation of Santa Claus.




Another popular image is the Green Man, the Spirit of Nature. His face can be seen in many cathedrals all over Europe, a hidden reminder of its Pagan past. The Green Man is said to be the guardian of the natural world, his face hidden among the leaves.



The hollow hills are said to open wide on this night and the Wee Folk are known to wander the earth. There are several warnings for those who encounter the Fey. Don't eat or drink anything that they offer you as earthly food will lose all flavor afterwards and you will forever long for another taste of the Faerie food and drink. If you see the Wee Folk dancing about in a circle, do not join them. Many legends tell of those who have and when the dancing has ended, the unfortunate souls discover that a hundred years have passed and all of their loved ones are long gone.



It is said that herbs gathered on the Summer Solstice are the most potent. When possible, I like to take a walk alone in Nature and gather herbs from the wild on the Solstice. I had to work today and was unable to do so this year. A popular herb that blooms and flowers at the Summer Solstice is St. Johns Wort. With its bright yellow flowers, this plant is a reminder of the renewing energy of the sun.

I am usually filled with energy at this time of year as I am able to spend more time outdoors. I look forward to days spent at the beach and in the forests, and try to plan at least a couple of camping trips during the summer months.

I have much to look forward to this summer. Ryan, our oldest son, is returning home from the army. In just a few weeks we will be taking a much needed family vacation. I have a camping trip with friends planned later in the summer. My sister is planning a trip out to California so I am looking forward to spending some time with her.

I have recently joined a gym with a friend and am working on getting myself into shape, including something I have never done in my adult life... running! The warm weather and fresh air is intoxicating after being locked indoors during the cold winter and the rainy months of spring.

But nothing stays the same as I was reminded yesterday when I was in a store and noticed that they were already setting out their fall decorations. The clerk was carrying a large plastic pumpkin and I smiled as I looked forward with anticipation to my own favorite time of year... Autumn.

The Empty Church Pew

This is probably one of the most controversial blogs that I have ever written. I do not mean to offend anybody with what I am about to say. I have many Christian friends who I love dearly. But I feel that I need to explain exactly why I left the church. I am tired of hiding what I believe and trying to please the majority when it comes to matters of faith.



I have seen it happen hundreds of times. People are searching for something in their lives. They go to church. They hear the sermon and are told that they are sinners without Christ and will wind up in Hell if they don't repent and get saved. They walk the aisle and pray the prayer with the preacher. In many cases their lives are changed and they become faithful Christians, stalwart members of the church. In other cases, they attend for awhile and then slowly drift away. We have all heard the story of why people turn to the church, but what about those who leave? This is my story.

I'm not going to go into detail about the events that led up to me questioning my faith as a Christian and eventually leaving the church. Those events were detailed in another blog. After the painful experience that caused me to take an honest look at my life and what I thought to be true, I decided to lay aside all that I had been taught to believe.



I took an honest look at the Bible and much of it truly bothered me. I read stories I had heard before, but for the first time actually thought about what they meant. I encountered verses showing God commanding that babies heads be bashed against rocks, entire cities being destroyed along with every man, woman, child and animal. The Bible is filled with blood and the God of the Bible demands a blood sacrifice for the sins of man. I saw rape, torture and genocide, all commanded by a God who was supposed to be all loving. I saw people that I cared about being called Abominations because of their lifestyle, others cut off from God because of their religious practices. Most of this was in the Old Testament, but the New Testament had its share of problems as well. Those people who refused to believe in Christ were damned to eternal torment in Hell. There was so much fear, guilt and shame, I just couldn't deal with it anymore. So I left the church and all of the dogma behind.

I know that some of my Christian friends probably thought I was "backslidden". After all, I would often accuse those who left the church of the same thing back when I faithfully attended. It was a well known fact that those who quit going to church were "Out of fellowship with the Lord". Or are they?




I didn't leave the church because I fell away from God. I conciously and purposely left the church because I no longer believed in the image of God that was portrayed there. Now don't get me wrong, I have no problem with Jesus or his teachings. Christ's teachings of love and forgiveness still ring very true to me and I live by "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." But I refuse to bow down to a tyrant. And that is how I see the God of the Bible. Think about it for a moment. Imagine the worst attrocity that you can conceive that a human being can do to another. That pales in comparison to what the God of the Bible threatens nonbelievers with. How can you say that God loves people, but then he sends them to Hell if they don't convert to Christianity? Would unconditional love ever hurt another in such a heinous way? Oh, but God doesn't send people to Hell. They choose to go their with their unbelief. Bullshit! Nobody would choose to go to Hell. And yet as Christians we were taught to believe this paradox.

How many people convert to Christianity out of fear for their souls? It appears that the God of the Bible wants us to fear him, to tremble in obedience before his might. He delights in allowing suffering upon humanity to bring himself glory. He is jealous, vengeful, bloodthirsty and hurls curses upon the people who cross him, and not only them, but their families, for generations! Don't believe me? Read the Bible!

I do not believe in this God anymore. Most of my life was spent living in fear and guilt. I was never good enough. I deserved Hell because of my failures. I was saved only by grace, and my best works were dirty rags before an angry God who couldn't even look upon my mistakes.



I encountered a gentler, more loving aspect of the Divine soon after I moved back to California. I was accepted and loved exactly as I am, mistakes and all. There was no fear, no guilt, and no shame. There were no threats of punishment if I stepped out of line. For once in my life I could be human and not feel bad about myself. I had the freedom to make my own choices, including what I believed in.

I don't think that our Creator cares how we envision him/her. I see her as the Great Mother. I love her not out of fear or forced servitude, but by choice. All are welcome in her presence. There is no special elitist group set above the rest of humanity as we often see in the monotheistic religions. All life comes from her, and in the end, all life returns to her as well.

So does this make me a heretic? I don't believe so. But I will no longer stand by silently and let people judge me based on what I believe. If others are comfortable following the religion they are told to follow and find comfort in their lives in their faith, then I am happy for them. But this simply no longer works for me.

There were so many contradictions in the church that I could no longer bear. We were told not to judge others, but we were given license to "inspect fruit". We were told tht God loved everybody, but somehow we as Christians were special and chosen, set apart from everybody else. We were told that we were stained, unworthy and told not to even trust our own hearts, even though we were children of God.

I apologize if this blog offends anybody. I would never intentionally do that to another person. But I feel the need to tell the truth, to finally let it out, once and for all. Why did I leave the church?

I did not reject Christ as some would say. I am not without a personal spiritual life and connection to the Divine as others might whisper behind my back. I guess it all boils down to this... I left the church because of LOVE. I love people who are not Christians. I have friends who are Jews, Pagans, Athiests and Agnostics. These are wonderful friends, and I don't believe for a moment that they are condemned for their beliefs. I don't believe that anyone has the right to try to force their beliefs on another. I have seen (and participated in) using fear and guilt tactics to see others convert to Christianity.

Along with love for my fellow man, I also left the church out of love for the Divine. What I encountered out on the beach and in the forest was real. I no longer see the angry old man sitting on the throne above us all. It has taken years to get that damaging image out of my mind. And you know what? I am truly happy now. I believe in myself. I no longer judge others based on what they believe. I am free to make my own choices. And for that I am thankful.

25 Random Things About Me

1. I don’t consider myself a conservative or a liberal. I am more in the middle and try to see the perspective of both sides before making an informed decision. My final decision is usually based on what is fair for everyone involved.

2. I love animals! I believe that animals have as much right to be here as we humans do. I try to live in peace and harmony with the animal kingdom and won’t even smash spiders in the house, but pick them up and take them outside. I tried to be a Vegetarian for about a year but didn’t like what the soy products did to my body. So I eat meat, but I respect the animal who gave its life for me to eat.

3. I see dead people. Seriously, I have encountered ghosts and spirits since I was a kid. It used to really frighten me but it doesn’t so much anymore. Ghosts are people too. They’re just dead.

4. I have read comic books since I was a kid. My favorite comics are the X-Men and I read my first issue when I was 13. You can ask me any question about the X-Men and I can probably give you the correct answer. I especially feel drawn to the X-Men because of their stance on acceptance and coexistence with all people from all walks of life.

5. I have struggled with depression since I was a kid. I believe it is partly genetic as my sister, brother and grandmother all had their own struggles. At times it is almost overwhelming and it’s all I can do to function and make it through the day. But I usually can keep it pretty well hidden.

6. I enjoy dressing up and disguising myself with makeup, fake hair, etc. I especially have fun with horror characters and have become pretty good with my creations. I consider this my art. I have never lost a contest I have entered for best costume.

7. I enjoy singing. When I was a kid I used to run away from church with my brother and hide because we hated singing in the kid’s choir. I sang for many years in church but more recently have started singing karaoke with friends.

8. Fantasy and horror are my favorite genre in movies and books. I have always had the need to escape the real world. Fantasy is a healthy outlet for me to do so.

9. I have a dark side and often find comfort with things that most people would find morbid or bizarre. I love Graveyards, Freaks, Krypt Kiddies, and listening to dark music. I was an active member of a Goth club for a couple of years but everybody moved away. They were awesome friends!

10. I formerly followed the Christian religion for many years, but after some extremely painful events in Eastern Ky caused me to take an honest look at what I believed, I left the church and now follow my own, very private, and very personal path of Nature Based Spirituality. Much of what I believe was practiced by the ancient Druids and Native Americans. It’s a very peaceful, all inclusive path.

11. I am far too critical of myself. When I make a mistake I go over it in my mind again and again and try to think of ways I could have done better. Whether it is a makeup job, singing a song, or a conversation I have with a friend. If I mess up I find it hard to just let it go.

12. One of my biggest regrets is that I never finished college. I only had one semester left before I got a two year degree, but I was young and in love with Patti and couldn’t concentrate on my studies, so I dropped out. Still, I have been fortunate to work myself into management where my experience has helped make up for my lack of formal education.

13. I can’t stand pushy, arrogant people who think only about themselves. It makes me so angry when I see people like this treating others bad. In my line of work I often have to deal with these types of folks and I am always nice and polite although I would really like to tell them off.

14. I didn’t have my first taste of alcohol until I was 40 years old. I have never smoked a cigarette or taken drugs of any kind.

15. One of these days I would love to travel and see Europe. I would especially like to visit the castles, tors and holy wells in Ireland and Scotland.

16. One of the things that is the hardest for me to deal with is saying goodbye to a friend. It never fails that somebody who I come to really care about ends up moving away, or else I do. Of course we still keep in touch, but the closeness, the camaraderie, it’s just not the same. I have said goodbye far too many times in my life. It always hurts me deeply.

17. I can’t stand to be preached at. I do not like it when people try to tell me what I should believe and how I should live my life. Like they know what’s best for me without having spent a day in my shoes. I will listen respectfully to the beliefs of others, but when they get too preachy I shut them out.

18. I get bored very easily. Routine bores me to tears. I am always craving adventure and looking for something new and exciting to do.

19. I enjoy silence. Sometimes the noise from the TV, the video games and the neighbors’ loud music is just too much. I enjoy taking walks alone in the woods to clear my mind and escape the noise.

20. I enjoy working with herbs and plants and have found that I have quite a green thumb. I harvest my own plants from my herb garden and also from the wild to be used in teas and tinctures for healing.

21. Halloween is and always has been my favorite holiday. I love the fall and it’s my favorite time of year.

22. I try too hard to please people. I go out of my way to get people to like me. If somebody doesn’t like me, I take it very personal and try even harder to be nice to them. I realize this is a personality flaw, but I’ve always been this way.

23. I do not have a “Me First” attitude. If somebody cuts in front of me in line at the grocery store, I don’t get angry, I just let them go ahead. I’m in no big hurry. One of my favorite Bible verses is Matthew 20:16 "So the last will be first, and the first will be last."

24. I am a terrible liar. People can tell when I am telling a fib because I have been told I have this wicked little gleam in my eye.

25. Up until yesterday I had never set foot in a gym before. One of my buddies asked me to give it a try and I had fun, so I signed up for membership today and am going to start working out with my friend on a regular basis.

And there you have it!